Skyrocketing Bacon Prices - The Worst News That's Not Everything Else Going On

Wednesday, February 1, 2017 02/01/2017 Views: 147

The internet is upset about rising bacon costs, so Maz Jobrani, Aisling Bea and David Koechner stir up further online hysteria with their own alarming headlines. (1:59)

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We've done over 500 episodesof this little program,

the @midnig program--we've come to...

-WOMAN: Yeah! -(whooping)-Thank you, three people.

-(laughter)-And we've come to learn

that there's certain things

the Internet will go crazy forevery goddamn time.

Uh, of course, cats.Always with the cats.

-(cheers and applause)-AISLING BEA: Yeah. -Yup. See?

-HARDWICK: Huh? Huh? OrThe Rock. Huh? -MAN: Oh, yeah.

-HARDWICK: Yeah. The Rock.-(cheers and applause)

Or erotic drawingsof beloved cereal mascots,

-you see right there.-(laughter, applause & cheering)

Oh, I feel like

half the audiencewas slightly less enthused

-for Count (bleep). Uh...-(laughter)

Now we know how he makes thechocolate. All right, guys.

-(laughter and groaning)-No.

-Oh, don't think about it toomuch. -BEA: Yeah. -(laughter)

The thing the Internetloves the most,

though, guys, and I thinkwe'll all agree on this--

of course, bacon. Bacon!Everyone loves bacon.

(applause and cheering)

You know, simply tweetingthe word "bacon"

can get you almost 800 retweetsright there.

(applause and cheering)

Well, the onlines were throwninto a raging panic today

when it was announced thatpork belly reserves have hit

a 50-year low, which is causingbacon prices to skyrocket!

-(audience groaning) -No!-Oh! This is really serious.

This is the worst news

that's not everything else goingon in our country right now.

So, comedians,what's another headline

that would throw the Internetinto hysteria?

-Aisling. -In responseto protests around the U.K.,

Trump has issueda Benedict Cumber Ban.

-(laughter, applause & cheering)-Ah! Hey! -HARDWICK: No!


-No! We're gettingSherlock blocked. -(laughter)

-Koechner.-Chris, it's gonna

cause a panicwhen Facebook announces

that you actuallymust be a friend

of the personyou friend on Facebook.

-(laughter)-HARDWICK: Oh, (bleep).

Also, all free pornis gonna be blocked.

-HARDWICK: Oh, (bleep).-(loud groaning)

Hey, they were more upset aboutthat than the friend thing.

-Maz Jobrani. -It will causeanger when you put out

that your cat videosreally aren't that cute.

-HARDWICK: Hey, nice!-Oh!

-Well done. Well done.-(applause and cheering)