Uncensored - Whitney Cummings - Porn Screaming

Season 1 , Ep 101 01/16/11 Views: 58,462

In the bedroom, Whitney Cummings likes to keep a low profile and occasionally whisper encouraging things. (1:36)

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I DO NOT LIKE PORN.

LET ME TELL YOU--I DON'T LIKE PORN

BECAUSE ITRAISES THE BAR TOO HIGH.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LIKE WOMEN IN PORN ARE ALWAYS,LIKE, YELLING SO LOUD,

WHICH I GUESS YOU GUYSTHINK THAT'S SEXY.

I'M NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL.

I'M VERY QUIET IN THE BEDROOM.

I LIKE TO KEEPA VERY LOW PROFILE IN THERE.

I WILL OCCASIONALLY WHISPERENCOURAGING THINGS.

YOU KNOW, I'LL BE LIKE,"GOOD JOB.

"I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.

"I REALLY THINK YOUR SHOWINGA LOT OF IMPROVEMENT.

RUDY. RUDY. RUDY."

I DON'T LIKE PORN,

BUT, WOMEN,YOU SHOULD WATCH PORN MORE.

WATCH PORN JUST TO SEEWHERE YOUR MAN

IS GETTING ALL THOSESTUPID FUCKING IDEAS.

LITERALLY, EVERY TIMEI WATCH PORN, I'M LIKE,

"OH, THAT'S WHY HE MADE ME BUYROLLER-SKATES AND A SNORKEL.

"OKAY.

THAT'S WHY THERE'STWO POUNDS OF PUDDING

IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE."

SO STUPID.

I LOVE THAT YOU GUYS DON'T THINKWE KNOW YOU WATCH IT,

AND WE ALSO KNOW BECAUSE,HERE'S THE THING,

IS THAT IF YOU WATCH ITON THE COMPUTER,

YOU'LL EITHER, NUMBER ONE,ERASE YOUR FUCKING HISTORY

IN THE MENU BAR.

SO I CAN'T GO TOANY OF MY WEBSITES,

AND I KNOW YOU DIDSOME CRAZY SHIT.

OR YOU DON'T ERASE YOUR HISTORY,

AND I TRY TO GO TO GOOGLE.COM,

AND IT GOES TOGOOD-ASIAN-PUSSY.COM.

I USED TO WORRY ABOUT PORN.

I USED TO BE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD,MY MAN IS WATCHING PORN.

HE DOESN'T LOVE ME."

OR, LIKE,"HE'S NOT ATTRACTED TO ME."

PORN IS NOT A THREATTO OUR RELATIONSHIPS.

I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT ITLIKE THIS.

GUYS WATCHING PORN

IS LIKE WOMENWATCHING THE FOOD NETWORK.

OKAY, WE'RE BOTH WATCHING SHITWE ARE NEVER GONNA FUCKING DO.

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