Mash Up Algorithm - Little Muddy & Tom Segura - Inventor Cousin

  • Season 1 , Ep 7
  • 11/27/2012
  • Views: 5,334

An algorithm pairs together Internet questions that rhyme and Tom Segura provides evidence for his family intelligence theory. (2:19)

- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIMEYOU GOT A LITTLE MUDDY?

- SHOULD I BE WORRIEDBECAUSE MY POOP IS BLOODY?

- HOW DO I STOPTHE RINGING IN MY EARS?

- WHY HAVEN'T I BEEN HORNYIN 12 YEARS?

- CAN A 12-YEAR-OLDGET A TUMMY TUCK?

- WHAT MAKES YOU THINKI GIVE A [bleep]?

- I'VE BEEN WORKINGON THIS THEORY,

AND MY THEORYIS THAT EVERY FAMILY

HAS AT LEASTONE PROFOUNDLY STUPID MEMBER

IN THE FAMILY.

[laughter]

IN MY FAMILY,

IT HAS TO BEMY COUSIN BRIAN,

WHOM I ADORE.

HE LIKES TO CALL HIMSELFAN INVENTOR,

WHICH WOULD BE REALLY COOL,

EXCEPT FOR THE WHOLE PARTWHERE HE IS NOT.

LIKE, IF YOU'RE AN INVENTOR,I APPLAUD YOU.

THAT TAKES REAL SKILLS.

MY COUSIN JUST LIKESTO COME UP

WITH IDEAS FOR STUFF,WHICH, AS HE PUTS IT,

"WOULD BE REALLY COOL,"

BUT HAS NO IDEAHOW TO MAKE IT.

THAT'S JUST AN ASS[bleep],EVERYBODY.

BUT HE INSISTS ON USINGTHE WORD "INVENTION."

LIKE, HE'LL BE LIKE, "DID I TELLYOU ABOUT MY NEW INVENTION?"

I'M LIKE, "NO.WHAT IS IT?"

"IT'S A CELL PHONETHAT DRIVES YOUR CAR FOR YOU."

I'M LIKE, "COOL.HOW DOES IT WORK?"

AND HE GOES, "YOU JUST PRESSA BUTTON ON THE PHONE,

AND IT DRIVES YOUR CAR."

LIKE, "YEAH, DICK,BUT HOW DO YOU GET THE PHONE

TO DO THAT?"

AND HE GOES,"YOU JUST PROGRAM IT.

YOU KNOW?"

LIKE, "WITH A HAND GESTURE?REALLY?

ARE YOU SPRINKLINGFAIRY DUST ON THE PHONE?"

AND THEN HE GETS MAD AT ME.HE'S LIKE, "[bleep] YOU.

YOU DON'T LIKEMY INVENTION."

IT'S LIKE, "NO,I LOVE YOUR INVENTION.

"I ALSO LOVESLIDING DOWN A RAINBOW

"INTO A POT OF GOLD.

IT'S NOT POSSIBLE, MAN."

I TOLD HIMI HAVE AN INVENTION.

"IT'S A TOILETTHAT SENDS EMAILS

AND MAKESTURKEY SANDWICHES."

AND HIS ANSWER, I SWEAR TO GOD,WHEN I TOLD HIM, WAS,

"THAT'SA [bleep] AWESOME INVENTION."

LIKE, NO, IT'S NOT.

IT'S NOT--IT'S NOT REAL.

YOU CAN'T JUST SAY IT.

THANK YOU, GUYS,VERY MUCH.

YOU WERE GREAT.THANKS.

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