JB Smoove - Shadow Puppet Show

01/21/12 Views: 2,737

JB Smoove describes the one job that is available to a person with an injured arm. (2:20)

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BECAUSE YOUR ARMALL JACKED UP, RIGHT?

YOU GOING TO INTERVIEWSEVERYWHERE.

HEY, I WANT--CAN I GET A JOB?

ALL THE DOORSSLAM IN YOUR FACE

'CAUSE YOUR DAMN ARMALL FUCKED UP.

OR YOU GOTTA GET A JOBDOING CHILDREN'S PARTIES,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

DOING SHADOW PUPPET SHOWSAND SHIT.

YOUR ASS DOING SHIT--

ALL RIGHT, KIDS.

OH, MY GOD.

DID I TELL YOU KIDSWHAT HAPPENED TO MY ARM?

THE POLICE MESSED UPMR. JOHNSON'S LIGAMENT, KIDS.

SO I GOT A SWAN,I GOT A RABBIT,

AND A PAIR OF SCISSORS.

SO THE SWAN AND THE RABBITWENT TO STAPLES

TO STEAL A PAIR OF SCISSORS.

AND THE RABBIT WAS LIKE,"COME ON, MAN.

"WE DON'T GOT TO STEALNO DAMN SCISSORS.

"IT AIN'T LIKE WE AIN'T GOTNO DAMN MONEY, MAN.

"WE GOT MONEY.

WE CAN BUY OUR OWN PAIROF SCISSORS."

AND THE SWAN WAS LIKE,"FUCK THAT SHIT!

"I'M NOT PAYINGFOR NO DAMN SCISSORS.

I'MA KEEP IT REALUP IN HERE!"

"COME ON, MAN,NOT TODAY, MAN.

"THIS AIN'T EVEN COOL,MAN.

YOU GOT MONEYIN YOUR POCKET."

"I GOT MONEY!MY MONEY IN MY POCKET!

"LIKE I SAID, YOU CAN BEA BITCH IF YOU WANT TO,

"BUT I'M NOT PAYINGFOR NO MOTHERFUCKING SCISSORS."

[laughs]THIS IS--

THIS IS THE SWANGETTING ARRESTED.

AH, AH, AH!

TOOK HIS ASS TO JAIL.

THEY PUT HIS ASSIN FUCKING JAIL.

THAT'S HOW HE LOOK IN JAIL.

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!

"YO, WHAT YOU DOING?STOP, STOP.

STOP, STOP!"

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