Chris Hardwick - 90s Music

Chris Hardwick: Funcomfortable Season 1, Ep 1 04/30/2016 Views: 6,769

Chris Hardwick contemplates the soul yodeling rock music of the 90s and explains what kind of dude identified with it. (1:29)

Watch Full Episode

And that was good '90s music.

Like, there wasa whole period from,

like, '93 to 2003of just like...

♪ Yeah, mo, yeah

What the [bleep] were we doingin the '90s?

I mean, they weren't evensaying words.

Like, how do youwrite that song?

What rhymes with "mreah"?

♪ Yeah

We couldn't make words.

Like, all the...♪ Yeah

♪ It's been awhile

♪ Since I[vocalizing grumbles] ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ It's been awhile

I figured outwhat that music was.

I figured out what all that,like--that soul yodeling--

I figured out what all that is,all right.

That was for dude bros.

The '90s gave riseof the dude bro,

the frosty-tipped,barbwire tattoo dude bro

that would coalesceand become Guy Fieri.

It was the birthof that dude,

and the dude brocan't express his emotions,

so he just needs somethingto let his lady know he feels,

so he can just, like,chuck a Staind CD at her

and be like,"This is how I feel.

If my dick could write a poem,it would be this song."

All '90s songswere just dick poems.

That's it.

If you think about it,if your dick could sing,

it lacks the articulatingmusculature to form consonants,

so everything would sound like,

♪ It's been awhile since I[vocalizing grumbles] ♪

♪ She'll be[vocalizing grumbles] ♪