Jim Gaffigan - Article Continued on Page Six

  • Season 3 , Ep 6
  • 07/11/2000
  • Views: 26,475

Sometimes, you accidentally read the end to a different article. (1:45)

I, UH--YOU EVER RENT A MOVIETHAT WAS RELEASED AWHILE AGO

AND YOU ENJOY IT,

BUT THERE'S KIND OFTHAT AWKWARDNESS

'CAUSE YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT ITWITH ANYONE?

YOU'RE LIKE,"HEY, I JUST SAW HEAT."

"HEAT?I SAW THAT SIX YEARS AGO."

"I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT NOW."

"NO, LOSER."

YOU EVER TALK ABOUT A MOVIEWITH SOMEONE THAT READ THE BOOK?

THEY'RE ALWAYSSO CONDESCENDING.

"AH, THE BOOK WAS MUCH BETTERTHAN THE MOVIE."

"WHAT I ENJOYED ABOUT THE MOVIE:NO READING.

[laughter]

IT ONLY TOOK TWO HOURSAND THEN I COULD TAKE A NAP."

I'M TOO LAZY.

YOU EVER READ AN ARTICLE,

AND AT THE BOTTOM, IT SAYS,"CONTINUED ON PAGE SIX"?

I'M LIKE,"NOT FOR ME. I'M DONE.

WHY DON'T YOU STOPBOSSING ME AROUND?"

THEN I FINALLY GETTO PAGE SIX.

I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBERWHAT I WAS READING.

YOU EVER READ THE ENDINGTO A DIFFERENT ARTICLE?

"AL GORE IS RUNNINGFROM A WATERFALL?"

YOU EVER READ A BOOKTHAT CHANGED YOUR LIFE?

ME NEITHER.

I DON'T HAVETHE ATTENTION SPAN.

EVERY NOW AND THEN,I'LL READ A BOOK.

I'LL BE SO PROUD OF MYSELF.

I'LL TRY AND SQUEEZE ITINTO CONVERSATION.

PEOPLE ARE LIKE,"HEY, JIM, HOW YOU DOING?"

"I READ A BOOK.250 PAGES."

"THAT'S GREAT.WHAT WAS IT ABOUT?"

"NO IDEA.TOOK ME TWO YEARS."

YOU EVER BUY A BOOKAND NOT READ IT?

YOU FEEL ALMOST GUILTY HAVING ITON A BOOKSHELF, DON'T YOU?

PEOPLE ARE LIKE,"HEY, HOW WAS THAT BOOK?"

"I HAVEN'T READ IT."

"DID YOU JUST BUY IT?"

"I'VE HAD IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL."

"WELL, CAN I BORROW IT?"

"NO."

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