LinkedOut - SkyMall Security Guard

  • Season 1 , Ep 01007
  • 01/15/2014
  • Views: 957

Nikki Glaser, Ron Funches and Neal Brennan come up with ridiculous job titles that one might find on LinkedIn. (1:41)

"LINKED OUT."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

LINKED IN IS A SITE THAT WILL

NOT STOP SENDING ME (BLEEP)ING

EMAILS.

AND IT'S ALSO A PLACE WHERE

PEOPLE CAN CONNECT THROUGH THEIR

JOBS, SUPPOSEDLY.

THERE'S SOME FAIRLY ABSURD JOB

TITLES.

THESE ARE REAL EXAMPLES AND THEY

INCLUDE "PORNOGRAPHY HISTORIAN."

(LAUGHTER)

"SMARTIES EXPERT."

THE CANDY, SMARTIES.

"PROFESSIONAL THUMB WRESTLER."

COMEDIANS, I'M GOING TO PUT

60 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK AND YOU

RING IN WITH AS MANY UNIQUE

JOB TITLES AS YOU CAN MUSTER,

AND BEGIN.

NIKKI GLASER?

>> HOST OF "SHIPMATES."

>> Chris: GODDAMN IT.

I'VE GOT TO GIVE YOU

POINTS FOR THAT.

I KNOW IT WAS A RIDICULOUS SHOW.

RON FUNCHES?

>> SKYMALL SECURITY GUARD.

>> Chris: POINTS!

NEAL BRENNAN?

>> STUNT DICK.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: TO GO ALONG WITH

PORNOGRAPHY HISTORIAN.

POINTS!

RON FUNCHES?

>> CARL'S, SR.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS!

NIKKI GLASER?

>> TOM CRUISE'S WIFE.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

IT'S A WELL-PAID GIG.

>> Chris: I'VE GOT TO GIVE YOU

POINTS.

NEAL BRENNAN?

>> KWANZAA CLAUS.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS!

RON FUNCHES?

>> OLDER WHITE LADIES WHO SAY

"MUCHAS GRACIAS" AT MEXICAN

RESTAURANTS.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: THAT'S A JOB, POINTS.

NIKKI?

>> THE GUY WHO PLAYS

THE AIR HORN IN PITBULL SONGS.

>> Chris: POINTS!

>> I HATE HIM.

I HATE THAT GUY.

>> Chris: MAYBE THEY CAN FIND

A NEW ONE.

NEAL BRENNAN?

(BUZZER SOUNDING)

>> NUMBER ONE BIKINI INSPECTOR.

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