Shining

Michael Jackson Halloween Season 2, Ep 6 10/31/2012 Views: 21,961

During his first day at a new job, a man discovers that he already has a close connection with his black coworkers. (2:18)

SO UH YOUR OFFICE IS ALL THE WAYDOWN AT THE END.

- MM-HMM.

- YOU HAVE YOUR OWN ATTACHEDBATHROOM, BY THE WAY.

OH, UM, HERE'S ONEOF OUR BEST RESEARCHERS.

DICK?- HEY.

- AH, HELLO THERE.

[dramatic music]WHAT'S UP, DUDE?

GLAD TO SEETHERE'S ANOTHER BROTHER

IN THIS STUFFY PLACE.

- SO, UH, THIS IS GONNA BEYOUR ASSISTANT, GENEVIEVE.

[dramatic music]- WHAT IS THIS?

- IT'S THE SHINING, MAN.

ALL BLACK PEOPLEHAVE THE SHINING.

YOU NEVER SHINED WITHANOTHER BLACK PERSON BEFORE?

- NO, I GREW UP

IN A WHITE NEIGHBORHOODAND THEN WENT TO DARTMOUTH.

I'VE METOTHER BLACK PEOPLE BEFORE,

BUT NOT LIKE THIS.

- YOU GOTTA GET SHINED ATBY ANOTHER BLACK PERSON FIRST,

AND THEN YOU GET IT.IT'S KINDA LIKE FACEBOOK.

[dramatic music]- WHAT UP, DUDES?

- SO EVERY BLACK PERSONHAS THIS?

IS KOBE LISTENING?

- [voice of Kobe Bryant]YO, WHAT UP?

- WOW! DENZEL WASHINGTON?

- [voice of Denzel Washington]I'M HERE, I'M PRESENT,

AND I WILL ALWAYSBE AROUND.

- LIL JON?

- [voice of Lil Jon]YEAH!

- [voice of Barack Obama]EXCUSE ME, LIL JON.

WELCOME, RAY.

I'M GLAD TO HAVE YOUON BOARD.

- OH, [bleep]!WHAT'S UP, BARACK OBAMA?

AHEM!

[chuckles]

WOULDN'T THAT BE SOMETHINGIF BARACK OBAMA JUST SHOWED UP?

- YOUR START-UP PAPERWORK'SRIGHT OVER HERE.

[dramatic music]- MAN, YOU GOTTA BE

MORE CAREFUL.

LEARN TO USE THE SHINING.

TUNE IN AND OUT OF IT.OTHERWISE,

YOU WON'T BE ABLETO SORT OUT WHO'S TALKING.

- AND I'M SICK OF THESEGODDAMN SNAKES...

- JUST GIVE METHE BASKETBALL!

- ON THIS GODDAMN PLANE!

- HERE, YO, COCO, WHATYOU WANT TO DRINK, GIRL?

- LEO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- DRINK SOME COLT 45MALT LIQUOR.

[overlapping voices]- WOMEN DIG CHOCOLATE!

- IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

[dramatic music]- RAY!

LISTEN FOR MORGAN.MORGAN FREEMAN.

HE WILL GUIDE YOU.

- [voice of Morgan Freeman]LISTEN TO MY VOICE, RAY.

NOW, JUST STAY CALMAND FOCUS ON THAT WHITE MAN.

- [exhales]

EVERYTHING'SGOING TO BE OKAY.

- ONCE YOU FINISH UPTHIS PAPERWORK,

BRING IT TO JENNIFERIN MY OFFICE.

- [voice of Morgan Freeman]NOW, PICK UP THAT LETTER OPENER,

AND KILL THAT WHITE MAN.

MORE SKETCHES
  • All Videos
  • Obama's Anger Translator
  • Valets
  • Levi & Cedric
  • Meegan & Andre
  • Wendell
  • music
  • supernatural
  • history
  • partying
  • dating
  • school
  • work/office
  • health
  • movies
  • TV
  • Season 5
  • Season 4
  • Season 3
  • Season 2
  • Season 1

Obama and Luther's Farewell Address - Uncensored

3:59

Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key suit up as President Obama and Luther, his faithful anger translator, to get real about Donald Trump's election.

Non-Scary Movie

2:57

Two friends leaving a horror movie talk about how unaffected they were by the scary parts.

These Nuts - Uncensored

4:14

A man confronts a colleague about his troubling reliance on a terrible joke.

Seasons 4 and 5 Outtakes - Uncensored

1:38

Keegan and Jordan fail to keep it together while shooting Seasons 4 and 5.

Ray Parker Jr. Theme Songs

2:33

The singer who performed the "Ghostbusters" song presents a box set featuring his best unreleased movie themes.

Meegan and Andre Break Up - Uncensored

4:08

Andre's plan to end things with Meegan doesn't quite go as planned.

Negrotown - Uncensored

4:35

A black man who's stopped by the police discovers that there's a way to escape racism.

Airplane Continental

3:18

An impressionable traveler experiences a world of luxuries when he's upgraded to economy plus.

Hold Me Back - Uncensored

2:50

Two friends have trouble negotiating a scuffle in a nightclub.

The Morty Jebsen Show Goes Off the Rails - Uncensored

4:18

Hip-hop star Young Bidness has a highly unusual freakout when a talk-show host asks about his recent breakup.

Marbles

5:09

During his first day on the job, the assistant state's attorney can't resist a beautiful jar full of marbles.