Big Jay Oakerson - Ninjas

Sanders, Trenholm, Landry, Oakerson Season 8, Ep 0808 01/14/2005 Views: 13,047

Asia has ninjas like we have roaches. (1:50)

LADIES, I KNOW.

[LAUGHTER]

NEW YORKITY-YORK, HUH?

[CHEERING IN BACKGROUND]

[LAUGHTER]

I LOVE THIS TOWN.

THERE'S SO MUCH PEOPLE

AND THE CULTURE AND EVERY--

WHITE PEOPLE AND BLACK PEOPLE.

AND MISCELLANEOUS THINGS

FLOATING AROUND, STUFF

HAPPENING.

[LAUGHTER]

THINGS, PEOPLE.

I LIKE CULTURE--

EVERYONE BEING TOGETHER.

I DON'T LIKE RACISM.

IT MAKES ME AWKWARD.

YOU RACIST AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE?

YOU CAN'T BE.

'CAUSE IT'S 2004 AND THEY'RE

RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

SO, THAT'S A GOOD ANSWER.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU'LL BE A RACIST TOMORROW

SOMEWHERE SAFE AND WHITE

BUT NOT NOW.

THINK IT THROUGH.

[LAUGHTER]

I'M NOT RACIST AGAINST--

I LOVE EVERYTHING.

WOMEN, I-- AND ACROSS THE BOARD,

ASIAN WOMEN, OH, I LOVE ASIAN

WOMEN.

I HAD AN ASIAN GIRLFRIEND ONCE

FOR AN HOUR, COST ME 150 BUCKS.

BUT I TELL YOU WHAT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

LAUNDRY, NAILS.

HUH-HUH.

THAT'S AT THE END.

[LAUGHTER]

I LOVE ASIAN WOMEN BUT I'M

NEVER GOING TO ASIA.

I'VE SEEN A LOTTA MOVIES TAKE

PLACE THERE.

IN MY HEAD, I THINK IT'S ALL

LIKE, YOU KNOW, ALL HOUSES ARE

MADE OF LIKE BAMBOO AND KLEENEX.

AND YOU CAN'T WEAR SHOES.

THERE'S STILL A BIG NINJA

PROBLEM GOING ON.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YEAH.

LIKE WE HAVE ROACHES, THEY HAVE

NINJAS.

LIKE, "DUDE, CAN I STAY AT

YOUR PLACE?

THERE'S NINJA'S ALL OVER MY

PLACE.

[LAUGHTER]

WE SET THE TRAPS, BUT THEY'RE

VERY CLEVER.

THEY JUST LEAVE THE CHEESE."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]