THERE'S NO GROUPIES.THERE'S NO CRAZY SEX STORIES.

I ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVEA ROCK STAR LIFESTYLE,

AND IT NEVER HAPPENED.

I GOT SO JEALOUS ONE TIME'CAUSE I TALKED TO--

THIS GUY AFTER A SHOWCAME UP TO ME,

AND HE USED TO BETED NUGENT'S ROADIE.

SO HE WAS ELDERLY,

AND, UH...

AND WE WERE TALKING.HE WAS LIKE,

"MAN, WE'D BE ON THE ROADAND TED, BOY,

"HE WOULD STACK THESE GIRLSUP ON TOP,

"ONE ON TOP OF ANOTHER

AND JUST [bleep] THEMUP AND DOWN!"

LIKE SOME CRAZY OPERATOR LIKE,

"KLONDIKE 7349.HANG ON, I'LL CONNECT YOU.

"SYCAMORE, 9032.

HELLO, OHIO?4321."

HOW ARE YOU THE FOURTH GIRL

IN LIKE A STACKED UP[bleep] JANGA,

AND YOU'RE JUST WAITINGFOR IT TO HAPPEN,

JUST SAYING OUT LOUD,

"I HAVE REALLY MADETHE BEST CHOICES IN LIFE.

"THIS IS EXACTLYWHERE I SHOULD BE.

I WENT TO BROWN!"

"THAT'S WHERE I'M ABOUTTO GO, DARLING--BAM!"

♪ 'CAUSE TED NUGENTIS ALL ABOUT FUN ♪

♪ HE'S A DEER HUNTING[bleep] STACKIN' ♪

♪ SON OF A GUN