Dave Has $55 Million - Uncensored

  • Season 3, Ep 1
  • 07/09/2006
  • Views: 287,845

Once his wealth is exposed, Dave starts getting charged a lot more. (3:58)

- YEAH, WELCOME BACK TO 106 & PARK,

B.E.T.'S TOP TEN LIVE.

[TV continues indistinctly]

- SO, YOU G'WANDO YOUR SHOW AGAIN?

- IT'S LOOKIN' THAT WAY.

- YOU MUST BE PAID...BIG TV STAR.

- [laughs]NAH, MAN, IT'S CABLE.

I DO ALL RIGHT, BUT NOTHIN'TO WRITE HOME ABOUT.

- CONGRATULATIONSTO DAVE CHAPPELLE!

[cheering and applause on TV]

HE'S RAKIN' IT IN ON THE NEWSEASON OF THE CHAPPELLE SHOW,

THE DAVE CHAPPELLE SHOW.

REPORTS SAY CHAPPELLEHAS RECEIVED $55 MILLION.

[eerie music]

[audience laughing]

- THEY BE LYIN' LIKE SHIT ON TV,DON'T THEY?

- ALL RIGHT,YOU ALL SET.

- HOW MUCHI OWE YOU, MAN?

- $11,000.

[audience laughs]

- [laughing]

YOUR CHALKBOARDSAYS $8, MAN.

- THAT'S THE OLD PRICE.

[audience laughs]

- THAT IS FUCKED UP.

- YOU HEAR WHATI'M SAYING, BALD HEAD?

- Y'ALL GONNA LET HIM ROB ME?

HUH?HAH?

- PAY UP NOW,11 IN CASH.

- ALL RIGHT.BUT FOR $11,000...

SHAVE MY BALLS THEN, NIGGA.

COME ON, GET TO CUTTIN'.

HOW MUCH I OWE YOU?

- NICE CAR.- YEAH.

- RICHEST, FUNNIEST MANIN AMERICA.

[chuckles]

$873.

- AW, COME ON, MAN,THE SIGN SAY $28.

I AIN'T PLAYIN' THIS SHIT TODAY.

- THAT'S THE OLD PRICE.

- WHAT YOU MEAN,THAT'S THE OLD PRICE, NIGGA?

ALL RIGHT, MAN,LET ME GET MY CHECKBOOK

AND WE WORKSOMETHING OUT, ALL RIGHT?

- LET ME GET A PICTUREWITH YOU.

- FUCK NO, NIGGA...

YOU GOTYOUR CAMERA, MAN?

$25 MILLION?

THAT'S HALF MY MONEY, MAN.

YOU AIN'T DOHALF THE WORK.

SHIT.

WHAT IF I DON'TWANNA PAY?

[audience laughs]

WHAT'S THAT?YOUR SISTER'S GUN?

YOU THINK THAT'S THE FIRST TIMEI HAD A GUN PUT IN MY FACE?

NIGGA, THAT'S THE SIXTH TIMETHIS HAS HAPPENED THIS WEEK.

THAT'S WHYI GOT HIM AROUND.

GO AHEAD, PULL YOUR PISTOL OUT,

LET'S HAVE A LITTLE ARMS RACEIN THE ROOM.

- OH, NO.

THEY THE GOVERNMENT, MAN.

I'M AFRAID OF THEM.

- I PAY YOU $4,000 A WEEKTO HOLD ME DOWN, NIGGA.

HOLD ME DOWN!

- $4,000 A WEEK?

YOU HAVEN'T FILEDFOR THAT.

BOTH OF YOU...

GET BUCK NAKED.

- [whispers]DAMN IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT, DUDE?

YOU FUCKIN' FIRED.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?- WHAT?

WHEN YOU GET OUT OF HERE,YOU'RE IN TROUBLE, JACK.

- YOU JUST GONNA LET HIMTHREATEN ME LIKE THAT?

HOW YOU GONNA GET $25 MILLIONOUT OF ME

IF I GOT THE NIGGAFROM GREEN MILE

SITTIN' ON MEIN THE MIDDLE OF "K" STREET?

- THAT'S A GOOD POINT.

FREEZE!

[gunshots]

- OH... SHIT!

YOU ALL RIGHT, DOG?

YOU ALL RIGHT?

[sentimental music]

- MONEY...

THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.

THE IRS PULLEDTHE TRIGGER,

BUT YOUR GREEDDID THIS TO ME, DAVE.

- WH-WHY YOU SAYIN' THAT, MAN?

- YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DOTWO MORE SEASONS

NO MATTER HOW GOODTHE SHOW IS.

THEY'RE ONLY GONNA SAY IT'S NOTAS GOOD AS LAST YEAR WAS.

- I KNOW...I ALREADY KNOW THAT.

- YOU KNOW--YOU KNOW WHAT THE KEY

TO KEEPING THE SHOW FRESH IS?

- WHAT?

- YOU GOTTA...

- COME ON, TALK TO ME!

- YOU GOTTA...

I'M DEAD.

[laughter and applause]

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