Paul F. Tompkins - I'm Rich

  • Season 7 , Ep 6
  • 03/13/2002
  • Views: 4,629

Working in show business brings in a lot of money. (1:37)

I'M IN SHOW BUSINESS, WHICH

MEANS THAT I AM BETTER THAN YOU.

NOW HERE'S--

(LAUGHTER)

I DON'T MEAN THAT AS AN INSULT

TO YOU.

IT'S JUST THE NATURAL WAY.

BEING IN SHOW BUSINESS IS GREAT.

AND IF YOU'RE NOT IN IT,

YOU SHOULD GET IN IT BECAUSE

#1 THE MONEY IS OBSCENE.

HA-HA-HA-HA!

IT IS CRAZY.

HERE'S HOW RICH I AM.

UM...

I LIKE GOING TO A

BANANA REPUBLIC, AND BUY SHIRTS

TWO AT A TIME.

(LAUGHTER)

RIGHT, RIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT.

(APPLAUSE)

I GUESS YOU SHOULD APPLAUD

FOR THAT.

HERE'S THE THING.

PEOPLE, YOU'RE PROBABLY SAYING

TO ME, BUT PAUL THOSE SHIRTS

COST A LOT OF MONEY.

YES, YES THEY DO.

(LAUGHTER)

THEY COST A LOT OF MONEY THAT

I HAVE.

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

MAYBE I'LL BE WALKING OUT AND

I'LL SEE THEY HAVE WINDBREAKERS

BY THE DOOR.

A RACK OF A WINDBREAKERS.

AND I'LL SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

THROW A WINDBREAKER IN THE BAG.

AND THE SALES WOMAN MAY SAY,

BUT SIR, DON'T YOU WANT TO TRY

IT ON?

TRY IT ON?

TRY IT ON?

TRY IT ON?

WHY, WHY?

(LAUGHTER

IF IT DOESN'T FIT I'LL THROW IT

AWAY.

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

SOMETIMES I'LL EAT MONEY,

JUST TO DO IT.

JUST TO SEE HOW IT FEELS.

IT FEELS GOOD.

IT FEELS POWERFUL.

ALSO SOMETIMES I EAT A TIN CAN

OR TWO BECAUSE I'M PART GOAT.

(LAUGHTER)

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