Brett Butler - Department Store Saleswomen

Butler, Behrendt, Louis C.K. Season 2, Ep 5 05/26/1993 Views: 4,147

An 18-year-old girl has no business trying to sell perfume to a 35-year-old woman. (1:34)

Well, in New YorkCity, in any city,

but here they'reso obnoxiously rich

if you go in certainparts of town.

Like, my husband andI actually saved up

to go to this reallynice restaurant.

And we go there and actuallyheard a child say this, Daddy,

do we have to havelobster again?


-I know.

So I ate flamingchild for dessert.

It was very nice though.

[laughter]-You know, I think about that.

Was that mean about Ivana Trump?

I shouldn't make fun of her.

Well, I'm not sayingshe's an opportunist,

but she opened a wig salon nextto Sloan Kettering. [laughs]


[audience groans]

-Oh, guess what I thinkabout when you groan?

Guess how cocky I'm gettingOK, I'm about a spit away

from learning to type anyway.



-OK, all right.

I have to go.

I will.

I will.

I'm just in themarket for death.

That's all I want.

-I had- I'm limping.

I had a little accidentwith one of those girls

that spray cologne onyou in department stores.

I had a book of matches.

I don't need to tellyou what happened.


-Don't they chap your ass?

I hate those girls, youknow, the ones who come up,

and all they do is spray.

You know, they don'teven say the name

of what they're selling.

Or that's all they say.

They don't have totell you anything.

You know, the ones whocome up and go, Obsession.

Shut up.


-I am 35.

You are 18.

You have no idea whatobsession is yet.


-It's not in a bottle.

Come here, little fetal tissue.

I will tell youwhat obsession is.


-Obsession is roamingaround the bushes outside

of a married man'shouse at midnight

with a machete in onehand and a big jar

of Vick's VapoRub in the other.


-Now go tell your daddy that.

[laughter and applause]

-And tell him to call me.