-I have an immigrant mother.
I feel bad for people don'thave immigrant parents
in their lives, because theirlives are gonna be super boring
and supportive andloving, and that's stupid.
Like, I went to go tellmy mom I was depressed
and she was like, "Vat?
Stop eating bread."
Like, that's-- that's it.
But immigrant parents aregonna push you to be the best.
Like, if I went to Americanparent and was like,
"I wanna work in a recordstore," they would be like,
"Oh, well as long as you'rehappy, then I'm happy
and your father's happy.
And everyone's just sohappy, so go be happy."
I tell my mom I wannawork in a record store.
She's like, (RUSSIAN ACCENT)"Are you fucking crazy, Jenia?
I come hear from Soviet Russia.
I live in one room withmy mother, my father,
my brother, eightkids, five dogs.
Stalin, he come in,he eat all the cheese.
I don't know why.
And then, I come to America.
I work 100 hours a day, Jenia.
I marry your father.
This is disgusting.
And then, I get spiton in the street.
I get mugged.
A bird, he come,he shit on my head.
Actually, in Russia,this is very good luck.
But I don't like it, Jenia.
And then, you want to workat fucking record store?
Oh, it makes you happy, Jenia.
No, this does notmake you happy.
What makes you happyis watching your mother
die in the streets, Jenia.
This is what makes you happy."
And then I was like, Mom,I wanna be a comedian.
She's like, "Oh, Jews do this.
(RUSSIAN ACCENT) Have nice time.
I'm a plus-size lady, ifyou guys didn't notice.
I'm very happy with it,because for thousands of years,
you guys, this was adesired body type, right?
It said very specific things.
One is that I waswell-fed, so I was rich.
Two is, I could carrya baby to full-term.
And three, this was resilient.
You wanna takethis to Pound Town?
I'm the fucking mayor, let's go.