Shane Mauss - Passenger-Side Airbag

Hughley, Ogata, Kaplan, Homer, Miele, Mauss, Von Season 3, Ep 7 06/20/2008 Views: 15,773

I noticed recently that in my car there is a button that turns off the passenger-side airbag. (2:59)

Thank you.

Wow. Holy smokes.

Okay, well, I, uh...

I noticed recently, um, that in my car

there is a buttonthat allows me

to turn off thepassenger-side airbag.

I use it all the time.

Someone starts complainingabout my driving...

"Slow down,you're gonna kill us!"

"Not us."

The, uh... the clock in my car,

it has an a.m./p.m.indicator on it.

That seems unnecessary.

If you don't knowif it's a.m. or p.m.,

you are in no conditionto be driving.

It should say the date.

I never know that.

I always gotta askrandom people on the street.

Sometimes they'lllook at me like I'm crazy

just for not knowing the date.

"You don't knowthe date? Are you mad?

It's the ninth."


So just to one-uphowever crazy they already

think that I am,I like to just grab them

and be like, "No, the year!

What year is it?"

You guys know this?

You know, with the rightpair of sunglasses...

you can take a dog anywhere?

It's a blind joke.

I, uh...

I, uh...I actually have a friend,

uh, who has glaucoma,and he's actually...

he's gonna be completely blindin a couple years

if I keep stealing his weed.

But... he's telling me he'staking all these blind classes

to prepare himselffor being blind.

Really interesting stuff.

Like, there's actually a blindetiquette I was unaware of.

Like, for example, when usinga cane, blind people,

they're just supposed to use,like, a little narrow sweep

just right in front of themfor their path, doesn't get

in too many people's way.

You know, it's actuallyconsidered rude

in the blind community to use awide sweep with the cane. Yeah.

So, since I found that out,now any time I see

some blind guy outwaving his cane around...

all willy-nilly...

I'm like, "Hey, ass (bleep)--

What? Do you thinkyou own this road?

I wish you could seewhat a prick you are."