Norm Macdonald - Lies

Norm Macdonald & Diane Nichols Season 1, Ep 0135 02/24/1992 Views: 11,131

Trying not to lie is tough. (0:51)

YOU EVER TRY NOT LYING?

OH, THAT'S A TOUGH THING.

MAN, I'M TRYING NOTTO LIE FOR NO REASON.

YOU KNOW HOW SOMETIMES...

USUALLY THERE'SA PURPOSE TO YOUR LIES

LIKE YOU WANT TO PROTECTSOMEBODY'S FEELINGS

OR SCREW OVERYOUR BUDDY LARRY OR SOMETHING.

( laughter )

YOU EVER LIEFOR NO REASON AT ALL?

JUST ALL OF A SUDDENA BIG LIE JUST...

SPILL OUT OFYOUR EVIL HEAD THERE.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

A GUY WILL COME UP TO YOU

"HEY, YOU EVER SEE THAT MOVIEWITH MERYL STREEP AND A HORSE?"

AND YOU GO, "YES."

( laughter )

IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD YOU GO

"WHAT THE HELLAM I LYING ABOUT OVER HERE?"

( smattering of applause )

I STAND TO GAIN NOTHINGBY THIS LIE.

WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKINGBACK HERE IN MY HEAD?