Kevin Brennan - Dating in New York

  • Season 1 , Ep 8
  • 01/25/1999
  • Views: 5,196

The music is too loud in bars for Kevin to meet women. (2:42)

SO I'M FROM NEW YORK.

ANY NEW YORKERS HERE?

Man:YEAH!

THE MORONS.

( laughter )

PEOPLE ARE...

PEOPLE ARE RUDE IN NEW YORK,AREN'T THEY?

YOU GET A LOT OF THISIN NEW YORK:

"HEY, BABY. COME ON, BABY."

YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKEWOMEN LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW?

A LOT OF PEOPLEDON'T REALLY...

A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T CARE.

GUYS WILL ACTUALLY DO THAT.

YOU CAN WALK DOWN THE STREETWITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND

AND GUYS WILL DO THAT TO YOU.

THEY'LL DO THAT TO YOURGIRLFRIEND, AND YOU'RE WITH HER.

GUYS BE LIKE, "COME ON."

YOU'RE RIGHT THERE WITH HER.

WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?IT'S RETARDED, GEEZ.

MY GIRLFRIEND JUST IGNORED THEM

BUT I HADONE GIRLFRIEND WHO SAID

"I'M GOINGTO GO SEE WHAT THEY WANT."

YOU DON'T NEED THAT, DO YOU?

IT'S HARD TO MEET WOMEN.

IT'S HARDTO MEET WOMEN ANYWHERE

'CAUSE YOU GO TO BARSAND THE MUSIC'S SO LOUD.

I JUST MAKE UP ( bleep ) NOW.

THEY CAN'T HEAR ME.

WHAT'S THE POINT?

I WAS TALKING TO THIS GIRL.

I'M, LIKE,"HEY, BIGFOOT'S OUTSIDE."

BIGFOOT'S OUTSIDE."

SHE'S, LIKE...

"YOU WANT TO DANCE?

YOU WANT TO DANCE?"

SHE'S, LIKE...

"CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?"

"SURE. ABSOLUTELY."

SHOULD HAVE SAID THATRIGHT AWAY.

THANK YOU.

THIS GUY'S LIKE...

THE GUYS ARE COOL.

I'M COOL.

SO THEY WERE PLAYING PUFF DADDYAT THE PLACE.

YOU GUYS LIKE PUFF DADDY?

YOU KNOW, FIRST OF ALL

ALL THE GUY DOES IS TAKEOTHER PEOPLE'S SONGS.

ISN'T IT BULL ( bleep ) OR WHAT?

HE TOOK "EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE"FROM THE POLICE

AND MADE A HIT OUT OF IT--IT WAS A HIT.

WHY DOESN'T HE TRY A HARD TUNELIKE "CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG."

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

SEE IF HE HASANY TALENT, RIGHT?

JUST CHECKING YOU GUYS OUT.

I JUST DON'T KNOWIF WOMEN LIKE ME.

I KNOW WHEN THEY DON'T LIKE ME'CAUSE THEY'LL SAY THINGS LIKE

"YEAH, THAT'S HIM, OFFICER."

SO I KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

THERE'S STUFF I DON'T KNOW.

PLUS, YOU KNOW, I SWEAR TO GOD,IN NEW YORK, IT'S, LIKE

YOU GOT TO HAVE LIKE A SYSTEMTO, LIKE, MEET WOMEN, YOU KNOW?

LIKE, WOMEN HAVE ALL THESE RULESAND THEY'RE ALWAYS CHANGING.

RIGHT, LADIES?

THIS GIRL CAME UP TO MEON THE SUBWAY.

WOMEN NEVER TALK TO YOUON THE SUBWAY.

SHE COMES UP TO ME,AND SHE GOES

"YOU'RE A COMEDIAN, RIGHT?"

I WAS, LIKE, "YEAH."

AND I THOUGHT SOMETHINGMIGHT HAPPEN

SO I'M TALKING TO HER, YOU KNOW

'CAUSE WOMEN NEVER TALKTO YOU ON THE SUBWAY

SO I THINK I'M MAKING PROGRESS

AND THEN I HAVE TO GETOFF THE TRAIN FIRST

SO I ASKED HERFOR HER PHONE NUMBER.

SHE SAID, "WHAT DO YOU WANTMY PHONE NUMBER FOR?

I WASN'T ACTING SEXYWHEN I WAS TALKING TO YOU."

AND I WAS, LIKE,"IS THAT A NEW THING

WOMEN HAVE TO ACT SEXYWHEN THEY'RE TALKING TO YOU?"

CAUSE I'VE NEVER HAD A WOMANSAY, "SO WHERE DO YOU LIVE?"

"YOU SHOULD GET MY NUMBER."

THAT'S SOME ( bleep ).

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