I've been told that whenyou meet that right person,
you know immediately.
How come when youmeet the wrong person
it takes a year and a half?
My ex-girlfriend,she was a twin.
And when I would tell peoplethat, like guys, they'd
be like, twins, man, yougotta have a threesome.
They would say that,and I'm no prude,
but that's mygirlfriend's brother.
I find people glorify beingsingle because they say
that you can sleepwith anyone you want.
But you can actuallyonly sleep with anyone
who wants to sleep with you.
It's a very different number.
Sometimes I'll be ona date with a girl
and she will ask me aboutmy last relationship.
And she'll want to knowlike who broke up with who.
And I'll say, well, ifi broke up with her,
I wouldn't be crying,and we wouldn't
be parked in front of her house.
We're someday going to beparked in front of her house.
I don't kiss on thefirst date, like ever.
Because I think women shouldbe happy with just sex.
Sometimes I'll be with agirl, and she will tell me
that I don't haveto wear a condom
and that's the best-- wayto get me to wear a condom.
I was with, I waswith a girl recently
and she said thatafter we had sex,
she was going to putmakeup on so that she
looked beautiful in the morning.
And I said, oh,that's so unnecessary.
I'll be long gone by then.
My friend asked me ifI would be comfortable
marrying a woman thatmakes more money than me.
And I wouldn't becomfortable otherwise.
He said, so she'llwear the pants.
And I said, yeah.
And I'll wear the capris.