It seems so easy to be a womenwhen you watch those films.
The women in those old films
never had to do anything.
They were justthese wild morons.
They were alwayslost in the woods,
doing a lot of crawling,it seemed like.
Like, they were so dumb
they sort of scared themselves.
And the... the men wouldhave to go find them,
like they were some kind of,like, a pet that got away.
They'd be like,"Don't you run off like that.
You know that brain'snot made for thinking!"
And they'd be like, "Oh, Johnny.
"Well, it was realscary-like out there.
"And I tried to do all sortsof things on my own, Johnny,
"like have opinions.Real opinions.
And you weren't there to beat mewith the opinion stick, Johnny."
"Oh, it's scary out here.
"I just want to go homeand make cupcakes and giggle.
"I love giggling, Johnny.
"Oh, it was scary out here.
"I'm very scared.
Oh, Johnny, never leavethat screen open again."
That's how she gets out.
She gets out through the screen.
The same thing could happento your women tonight.
You have to be very careful.
You gotta fasten that...that screen
or they're gonna escapeand form opinions.
If you don't fasten the screen,they will escape
and you'll have to find themand thrash them
with the opinion stick.
I also like that, at that time,
men would always orderfor women in restaurants.
They actually believedthat-that women
were probably too dumb
to know whattheir own stomachs wanted.
There's probably a broadthat got a little cocky,
a little out of line.
She tried to order for herselfone night, like,
"I think I'll havethe pot roast."
And some guy was like,"Goddamn it, Sally! Shit!
"What the (bleep) just happened?
"You've humiliated me now!
"In front of the waiter
"and God knowswho else heard, Sally.
"Come to think of it, how haveyou even gotten outside?
"You definitely should not be
"sitting in front of meright now.
"Ordering for yourselfis an opinion,
"and you'll be thrashed severely
for this shit, Sally!"