Jon Dore - Previews & Outtakes

  • Season 1 , Ep 6
  • 11/20/2012
  • Views: 4,466

Jon Dore previews some jokes for next season of "Mash Up" and reenacts some outtakes of one of his classic jokes. (3:58)

BECAUSE I JUST FOUND OUTBEFORE I CAME ON STAGE

THEY HAVE ASKED ME BACK TO DOTHE NEXT SEASON OF MASH UP.

ISN'T THAT EXCITING?

YEAH. AND I THOUGHT,

FOR THE SAKE OF THE PEOPLEHERE TONIGHT IN THE AUDIENCE,

I WOULD PREVIEW THE JOKESI PLAN ON DOING ON THAT SET,

SO IF YOU LIKE THE SETUPAND YOU THINK,

"OH, I'D LIKE TO HEARTHE END OF THAT,"

WELL, THEN YOU COME ON BACKHERE NEXT YEAR.

SO I'LL BE DOING A JOKEAT THE NEXT MASH UP

ABOUT THE EXCLAMATION COMMA.

WE ALL KNOWTHE EXCLAMATION POINT

COMES AT THE ENDOF THE SENTENCE,

BUT WHAT IF YOU WANT TO YELLIN THE MIDDLE OF THE SENTENCE,

AND YOU'RE NOT FINISHEDTALKING YET?

WELL, THE EXCLAMATION COMMA.

[laughter]

OKAY, SOME OF YOUTHINK THAT'S STUPID,

[yelling] IDIOTIC,OR DUMB.

BUT I JUST PROVEDIT WORKS.

BUT COME HEAR THE JOKEABOUT IT.

IT'LL BE GOOD.

I WILL BE DOING A JOKEABOUT, UH,

POPES AND SUPER BOWLS.

WHY THE ROMAN NUMERALS?

OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

I'LL BE DOING A JOKE

ABOUT HOWCHRISTOPHER REEVES DIED

AFTER HE WAS PARALYZEDFROM THE NECK DOWN.

WAS HE TRYING TO SAY,"QUIT WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD"?

WELL, THEN DON'T COME BACK!THAT'S WHY I PREVIEW THEM.

I WAS WALKINGIN THE PARK THE OTHER DAY

WITH MY, UH,LITTLE PUPPY.

LITTLE PUPPY.GOLDEN LAB.

GORGEOUS DOG.AND WHILE I WAS WALKING HIM,

AN EAGLEFLEW OUT OF THE SKY,

PICKED HIM UP,

AND FLEW HIM UP TO HIS NEST.

I CRIED MY EYES OUT.

BUT LUCKILY,I WAS WEARING MY JET PACK.

AND I FLEW UP...

AND THERE HE WAS,

SITTING THERE WITH DON HENLEYIN THE NEST...

AND MY LITTLE DOGWAS HAPPY.

AND I TALKED TO HIM AT LENGTHFOR A LONG TIME,

AND I FINALLY SAID,"SO YOU'RE OKAY HERE?

'CAUSE MY FUEL'S RUNNING OUT."

AND HE SMILED...

AND I DESCENDEDBACK DOWN TO EARTH.

THERE'S NO PUNCH LINE TO THAT,

BUT THAT'S GONNA BEREALLY FUN TO ANIMATE.

THINK ABOUT THAT.

LAST WEEK,I WENT OUT WITH A LOVELY LADY,

AND I USED THE DATE RAPE DRUGFOR THE FIRST TIME.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT JUST MADE ME REALLY TIRED.

I'M NOT TAKING THAT PILLAGAIN.

PARTWAY THROUGH THE DATE,I'M GETTING DROWSY.

IT'S LIKE, "I'M NOT GONNA GETANY RAPING DONE LIKE THIS.

"OHH!

GO HOME."

THAT IS A CLASSIC JOKE.

IT'S GOT A WONDERFULLYEDITED SETUP,

AND IT'S GOTA CONCISE PUNCH LINE,

BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS THAT WAY.

IT TOOK A LOT OF WORKTO EDIT IT DOWN TO THAT POINT,

AND I KNOW YOU PEOPLE LOVETHE GAG REEL IN MOVIES,

SO HERE ARE A COUPLE OF OUTTAKESOF HOW THAT JOKE USED TO GO.

I REMEMBER ONCE AT AN OPEN MICVERY EARLY ON,

THE JOKE WENT LIKE THIS:

I WENT OUT WITHA LOVELY LADY LAST NIGHT,

AND I USED THE DATE ROPE DRUGFOR THE FIRST TIME--

OH, ROPE DRUG.[bleep]. WHAT AM I DOING?

ALL RIGHT.MAAAAH! ALL RIGHT.

I REMEMBER ANOTHER TIMEI WAS DOING THAT JOKE

AT A POOL HALL.

YOU DON'T ALWAYS DO SHOWSIN COMEDY CLUBS.

I WAS IN A POOL HALL, AND ITWENT A LITTLE BIT LIKE THIS:

LAST NIGHT, I WENT OUTWITH A LOVELY LADY,

AND I USED THE, UM--LAST NIGHT, I WENT OUT, UM...

GUYS?HEY!

HEY!CAN YOU TURN--

CAN YOU NOT PLAY POOL?THANK YOU!

THERE'S SOMEONE ON STAGETELL--

IT'S CALLED RESPECT...

YA JERK.

LAST WEEK--UH, ANYWAY.LAST WEEK, I WENT OUT

WITH A LOVELY LADY.

AND I USED WHAT IS KNOWAS THE DATE--

UH, HELLO? OKAY, SECURITY!NO, NO, NO, WHAT--WHAT--

[crack]

- HUH?

both: TRUTH!

YES!

[applause]

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