Bruce Bruce - Old People

  • Season 7 , Ep 3
  • 02/20/2003
  • Views: 21,862

Bruce's mom is two-faced. (1:37)

Bruce Bruce: I'M TIRED OF OLD

PEOPLE.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M TIRED OF OLD PEOPLE SAYING

WHAT THEY WANNA SAY TO US AND

HURTING OUR FEELINGS AND WALKING

OFF.

YOU KNOW OLD PEOPLE SAY ANYTHING

AND WALK OFF.

(APPLAUSE)

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

AND YOU'RE TAUGHT AS A CHILD,

WHEN A OLD PERSON SAY SOMETHING

TO YOU, YOU DON'T TALK BACK.

BUT NOW I AM AN ADULT!

I LET THE ASS HAVE IT, YOU HEAR

ME?

I'M IN CHURCH SUNDAY,

AND I SPOKE TO THIS OLD LADY.

I SAID, "HEY, MA'AM.

HOW YOU DOING?"

SHE SAID, "HEY, BABY.

HOW BIG YOU GONNA GET?"

I SAY, "HOW OLD YOU GONNA GET?"

SHE GOT MAD.

"YOU FAT ASS."

"YOU OLD BITCH."

WE'RE IN CHURCH, NOW.

(LAUGHTER)

OLD PEOPLE SAY ANYTHING.

BLESS YOUR HEART.

THEY SAY THAT.

OLD PEOPLE SAY, "BLESS YOUR

HEART."

THAT MEANS SOMETHING IS WRONG

WITH YOU.

WHEN AN OLD PERSON SAY, "BLESS

YOUR HEART," SOMETHING IS WRONG.

YOU EVER SEEN SOMEBODY IN CHURCH

WITH AN UGLY BABY?

AND YOUR GRANDMOMMA WENT RIGHT

TO IT.

"IS THAT YOUR BABY?

BLESS HIS HEART."

THAT MEANS THAT BABY'S MESSED

UP!

(LAUGHTER)

LIKE MY MOTHER.

MY MOTHER IS MY GIRL.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

I LOVE MY MOTHER.

BUT MY MOTHER'S TWO-FACED.

ANYBODY'S MOTHER TWO-FACED?

(APPLAUSE)

MY MOTHER TALK ABOUT EVERYBODY

IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

WE BE STANDING OUTSIDE, SHE--

"LOOK AT THERE.

SHE OVER THERE SELLING DOPE."

"HEY, BABY.

HOW YOU DOING?

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HOW'S EVERYTHING?"

"MOMMA, YOU'RE JUST LIKE SHE

SAID--"

"OH, SHUT UP BEFORE I--"

(LAUGHTER)

MY MOMMA WAS ROUGH.

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