I've been thinking aboutgetting a second tattoo,
which means we're going totalk about my first tattoo.
I want you to imaginewhat it is
and where it is on my body.
You got it?
If you were thinking ofanything other than a
butterfly tramp stamp, youhave vastly underestimated
how much of a cliche I am.
And I thank you.
I have a butterflytramp stamp.
But when I got it, it wasn'tcalled tramp stamp yet,
It was a long time ago.
That phrase had not beeninvented yet.
Back then, I didn't evenknow what a tramp was.
I thought it was a dogthat ate spaghetti, okay?
So I'm thinking aboutgetting a second tattoo to
add to the butterfly trampstamp to make the whole
thing less slutty.
Here's what I'm thinking.
In beautiful Ed Hardy-stylecalligraphy, all down my
back, the words: "Thisbutterfly symbolizes the
personal transformation thatone goes through when they
accept Jesus Christ astheir lord and savior."
Because that was theoriginal intention.
I'm not joking.
When I was 19, I thought thebest place to permanently
affix my symbol for my loveof the lord would be right
above my ass crack.
I didn't realize that one daywhen people saw it,
they'd be like, "My liege,she has the mark of the
I must implore you to puttwo condoms on tonight."
I'm not going to get thatlong calligraphy thing.
It's way too expensive.
Here's what I'm really goingto get as my second tattoo:
quotation marks aroundthe butterfly tramp stamp.
So now it's ironic.
I did it onpurpose as a joke.
"'Butterfly tramp stamp.'
What if I got that?"