Ardal O'Hanlon - Driving in Manhattan

  • Season 5 , Ep 15
  • 10/07/2001
  • Views: 1,128

Ardal O'Hanlon is deathly afraid to drive in Manhattan. (1:36)

SO, IF ANYONE EXPECTING SOME

HARD-HITTING POLITICAL SATIRE

FROM ME THIS EVENING, MIGHT BE

SLIGHTLY DISAPPOINTED AT THIS

STAGE.

UNLESS, OF COURSE,

YOU'RE FARMYARD ANIMALS--

AND THEN YOU'LL BE THINKING--

OH-- THERE'S AS FELLA TOUCHING

ON THE ISSUES THAT AFFECT US!

THAT WHOLE ABSORBENCY DEBATE

IS RAGING IN THE FIELDS AT THE

MOMENT!

NOW...

I AH-- I DON'T KNOW AN AWFUL LOT

ABOUT NEW YORK--

I'VE BEEN HERE A COUPLE OF

TIMES.

I LOVE NEW YORK,

IT'S A MAGNIFICENT CITY.

THING I LOVE MOST ABOUT IT IS

IT'S DIVERSITY.

YOU KNOW, I NEVER KNEW THERE

WERE SO MAY DIFFERENT WAYS

TO SAY "(BLEEP) YOU!"

IT'S FANTASTIC!

BUT, ONE THING I WOULDN'T DO

HERE-- I WOULDN'T TRY TO DRIVE

IN MANHATTAN.

YOU DRIVE LIKE CRAZY HERE.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T APPROVE OF

DRINK DRIVING, BUT I'D NEED TO

HAVE A FEW DRINKS TO PLUCK UP

THE COURAGE TO DRIVE, YOU KNOW?

(LAUGHTER AND CHEERING)

YEAH.

IT'S MAD ON THE ROADS.

AND THE MOST DANGEROUS PEOPLE

ON THE ROAD ARE THE AMBULANCE

DRIVERS.

THEY'RE RECKLESS.

NOW I HAVE NO RESPECT AT ALL

FOR THAT PARTICULAR EMERGENCY

VEHICLE.

AND THE THING I DISLIKE MOST

ABOUT THE AMBULANCE IS THE WAY

THEY HAVE THE WORD "AMBULANCE"

SPELLED BACKWARDS-- EMBLAZONED

ACROSS THE FRONT OF THE VEHICLE.

NOW, THE THINKIN' BEIN' THAT

YOU'RE DRIVING ALONG IN TRAFFIC,

AND YOU LOOK IN YOUR REARVIEW

MIRROR, AND SAY-- "OH,

THERE'S AN AMBULANCE BEHIND ME!

SO I BETTER PULL OVER."

THAT'S ASSUMING THAT YOU HAVEN'T

HEARD THE INCREDIBLY LOUD SIREN

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

(LAUGHTER)

YEAH, THEY THINK WE'RE IDIOTS,

DON'T THEY?

SO WHENEVER I SEE AN AMBULANCE

COMING TOWARDS ME, DOWN THE

WRONG SIDE OF THE STREET,

AS THEY OFTEN DO, I THINK TO

MYSELF-- "HMM.

WELL, I HEAR THE SIREN

ALL RIGHT, BUT HOW CAN I BE

SURE?"

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

HOW CAN I BE

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