Al Madrigal - Loneliness Is Underrated

Al Madrigal: Why Is the Rabbit Crying? Season 1, Ep 101 04/26/2013 Views: 6,924

Lonely people don't realize how lucky they are to get to sleep in in the morning. (2:03)

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Is anybody lonely out there?Clap if you're lonely.

Anybody want to admit it?[scattered applause]

That's a pretty good,solid clap.

Because lonelinessis underrated.

You don't realizewhat you have.

Lonely peoplemake the mistake

of crying themselvesto sleep at night.

They go, "Oh,I wish I had a companion,

someone to watch Criminal Minds with."

[blubbers]

You don't realize what you got.I love going on the road.

I don't want to tellmy family this,

but I love to goon the road

and go on a nice,king-size bed, spread out.

Because at home,any parent can tell you,

you got some sweatylittle [bleep],

gets up at 2:00in the morning

'cause they're notproperly sleep trained.

So you wake up startled,

you hear this pitter-patterof feet, shadow.

You're like, "What the [bleep]is that, Chucky?"

My wife won't let mehave a gun in the house,

so I got a marble eggin a tube sock.

I'm like, "Who's there?Identify yourself."

Hammer stashedunder the couch for this

imaginary fight sequencethat's never gonna go down.

And you're too tiredto put up a fight,

so you let himin bed with you.

And an hour later,

you wake up clipped on--they're clipped on

like the koala bearon your fourth grade pencil.

Like, "Get the [bleep] off me."

And why are they so sweaty?Are they on drugs?

Are they taking

mollies downby the preschool,

or is thatjust what happens

when you properlyhydrate yourself?

And then I got to wake upat 6:30 in the morning

every single morning, no matterwhat I've done the night before.

You get to sleep intill whenever

because nobody loves you,

and I got to wake up

at 6:30every single morning

because I have a cutelittle girl or guy

that comesinside of my bed and goes,

"Daddy, wake up. Daddy, wake up.Daddy, wake up. Daddy, wake up.

Apple juice. Apple juice.Apple juice. Apple juice."

That's notan alarm clock

you can hit.

There's no snoozeon a three-year-old.