Whitney Cummings - Obsessed with Sports

Whitney Cummings: Money Shot Season 1, Ep 0101 08/22/2010 Views: 58,717

Men will wear jerseys for teams that they're not even on, but still think they're on the team. (1:48)

WOMEN GET OBSESSED WITH ROMANCE.

I THINK IT ALSO COMESFROM THE NICKNAMES WE GET

GROWING UP.

LIKE, MY DAD, GROWING UP,CALLED ME "PRINCESS," RIGHT?

"PRINCESS."

HE DRILLED IT INTO MY HEADAS A KID THAT I'M A FRICKIN'

PRINCESS, AND THEN I GREW UP,AND I GOT IN THE REAL WORLD,

AND I REALIZED THAT NO ONE ELSEWAS ON BOARD WITH

THE WHOLE PRINCESS THING, RIGHT?

PRINCESSES DON'T LOSETHEIR VIRGINITY

AT LOLLAPALOOZA.

THAT'S JUST NOT--I THINK WE NEED TO START

CALLING KIDS THINGSTO PREPARE THEM FOR REAL LIFE.

YOU KNOW, "GET IN THE CAR,REHAB.

LET'S GO."

WOMEN GET CALLED THINGSTHAT MAKE THEM OBSESSED

WITH ROMANCE.

GUYS GET CALLED THINGSTHAT MAKE THEM OBSESSED

WITH SPORTS, RIGHT?

YOU GUYS GET CALLED, LIKE,"CHAMP."

UH.

"SPORT."

YOU GUYS ARE SO OBSESSEDWITH SPORTS.

YOU GUYS CAN'T EVEN REFERTO INCREMENTS

OF A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUTREFERRING TO SPORTS, RIGHT?

"FIRST BASE."

"WE GOT TO SECOND BASE."

LIKE, YOU DON'T SEE WOMENRUNNING AROUND

REFERRING TO INCREMENTSOF OUR RELATIONSHIPS

THROUGH THINGS WE LIKE.

IT'S NOT LIKE, "LAST NIGHT,ME AND MARK, CHANEL PURSE."

YOU GUYS ARE SO OBSESSEDWITH SPORTS THAT YOU GUYS

WILL WEAR JERSEYS FOR TEAMSTHAT YOU'RE NOT EVEN ON.

BUT YOU THINKYOU'RE ON THE TEAM.

YOU'LL BE LIKE, "YEAH,LAST NIGHT, I GUESS WE JUST

DIDN'T SCORE ENOUGH."

"LAST NIGHT, I GUESS WE JUSTDIDN'T PLAY ENOUGH DEFENSE."

"WE"?

THE REDSKINS DON'T NEED YOU.

OKAY, THAT'S LIKE ME WATCHING GREY'S ANATOMY IN SCRUBS.

BUT THEN AFTER THE SHOW IS OVER,IT WOULD BE LIKE, "OH, GOD!

WE JUST COULD NOT SAVE THAT GUY.

I DON'T KNOW."