DL Hughley - Kidnapped

DL Hughley: Shocked and Appalled Season 1, Ep 101 05/15/2005 Views: 5,397

DL Hughley's kids don't bother asking their dad for homework advice; they know that he's too stupid to help. (1:18)

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I DON'T LIKE MY KIDS.

AND I DON'T LIKE 'EM 'CAUSE

THEY'RE SMART ASSES.

THEY WON'T LET ME HELP 'EM

WITH THEIR HOMEWORK 'CAUSE

THEY KNOW I GOT A GED.

BUT THEY WALK IN AND GO,

"HEY DADDY, NEVER MIND."

"YOU DON'T KNOW NONE OF THIS.

YOU THE ONE TOLD ME TO STICK

THE FORK IN AN ELECTRICAL

OUTLET."

[LAUGHTER]

STUFF IS HAPPENING TO CHILDREN

THAT NEVER HAPPENED TO US.

KIDS GETTING KIDNAPPED.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW WE'RE

RAISING KIDS THAT DON'T

UNDERSTAND DANGER.

LIKE WHEN WE GREW UP WE UNDER--

THEY COULD JUST SAY ANYTHING,

"HERE, COME HELP ME FIND A CAT."

"ALL RIGHT, I'LL COME."

WE WERE GROWING UP, IF YOUR

NEIGHBOR SAW YOU TALKING TO

SOMEBODY STRANGE THEY STOPPED

YOU FROM TALKING TO 'EM.

EVERYBODY WATCHED OUT FOR

EVERYBODY ELSE.

IF YOU WANT TO STOP KIDS FROM

GETTING KIDNAPPED IT'S A SIMPLE

THING, TEACH 'EM HOW TO CUSS,

THAT'LL STOP 'EM FROM GETTING

KIDNAPPED.

YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME YOU WALK

ALONG IN THE MALL, YOU HEAR SOME

LITTLE KIDS SHOUT OUT, "I DON'T

KNOW THIS MOTHER [BLEEP]!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

EVERYBODY IN HERE TURN AROUND

THEN.

I DON'T THINK HE KNOW THAT MAN.

WHITE PEOPLE BE GOING,

" I'M SHOCKED AND APPALLED

THAT HE WOULD USE THAT KIND OF

LANGUAGE."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]