Mitch Fatel - Wrong Number

  • Season 11 , Ep 19
  • 04/05/2007
  • Views: 31,552

Mitch Fatel found a way to avoid taking responsibility for possibly getting a woman pregnant. (3:47)

'CAUSE THEY'RE SO HOT AND SOFT. AND THEY HAVE VAGINAS.

OH, MY GOD. I LOVE THOSE VAGINAS.

THOSE ARE WONDERFUL.

WHEN I DIE, THE FIRST THING I'M GONNA SAY TO GOD IS,

I'M GONNA BE LIKE, "DUDE. GOOD JOB ON THE VAGINA."

HE'LL SAY, "IT'S GOOD, RIGHT?" I'LL BE LIKE "IT'S EXCELLENT."

BUT THEY ALSO HAVE AN IMPORTANT FUNCTION.

LIKE, WHAT DOES YOUR VAGINA DO, MISS?

YOU DON'T KNOW? HERE, TAKE IT OUT. I'LL SHOW YOU.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

IT MAKES BABIES. YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT?

- YEAH. I'LL SHOW YOU LATER. - [LAUGHTER]

I CAN'T BELIEVE GIRLS CAN MAKE BABIES. THAT'S AMAZING.

YOU'RE LIKE BABY FACTORIES.

BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE ONE WITHOUT US. I LOVE THAT.

YOU GOTTA COME TO US FIRST. WE HAVE THE SECRET INGREDIENT.

IT'S SO PERFECT. IT'S ALMOST LIKE GOD MADE US,

AND HE'S LIKE, "OOH, NO ONE'S GONNA TALK TO THEM.

I GOTTA GIVE THEM A JOB OR SOMETHING.

I'LL JUST LET THEM HOLD THE SECRET INGREDIENT."

BUT UNLIKE ANY OTHER SECRET INGREDIENT,

WE'LL JUST GIVE IT TO ANYONE WHO ASKS.

ANY GIRL CAN JUST WALK OVER TO YOU.

"HI, CAN I HAVEYOUR SECRET INGREDIENT?"

"CERTAINLY. I HAVE A NEW BATCH WHIPPED UP,

READY TO GO, FRESH SECRET INGREDIENT."

THAT'S DISGUSTING.

I THOUGHT I GOT A GIRL PREGNANT ONCE.

SHE CALLED ME UP. SHE'S LIKE, "I THINK I'M PREGNANT."

I WAS LIKE, "THE NUMBERYOU HAVE REACHED--"

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

I READ AN ARTICLE ONCE.IT SAID THAT YOU HAVE

A 25-PERCENT MORE CHANCEOF GETTING PREGNANT

- IF YOU DO IT DOGGY-STYLE. - [LAUGHTER]

SO, THAT'S WHATWE'LL START WITH, MISS.

DOGGY-STYLE. DOGGY-STYLE.

WHAT A DISGUSTING NAME FOR THE SINGLE MOST BEAUTIFUL ACT

EVER CREATED IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND.

- THANK YOU, JESUS.- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I DON'T THINK WOMEN WILL EVER TRULY UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONS

THAT THIS SIMPLE LITTLE POSITION BRINGS OUT IN US.

I THINK IT'S SIMILAR TO WHATYOU FEEL WHEN YOU SEE A SUNRISE.

YOU CAN'T TELL FROM YOUR POSITION.

BUT WE'RE CRYING AND TAKING PICTURES.

EVERY NOW AND THEN YOU MEET A GIRL,

AND THEN IT'S HERFAVORITE POSITION, TOO.

AND THEN THAT'S YOUR WIFE. I DON'T KNOW HOW GIRLS DO IT.

I WILL NEVER BE ABLETO GET IN THAT POSITION.

THE WHOLE TIME, I WOULD JUST BE LIKE--

"WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON BACK THERE?

WHY DO I FEEL CRUMBS? ARE YOU EATING?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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