Ray Lipowski - Suck and Tuck

Season 1 , Ep 4 07/25/10 Views: 8,037

It's not attractive for a man or women to wear a tight shirt with their stomach hanging out. (1:55)

AND, LIKE, A TIGHT SHIRT ON,AND HIS STOMACH IS HANGING OUT?

OR YOU CAN SEE HIS ASS CRACK?IS THAT ATTRACTIVE?

WHY IS IT WHEN YOU DO IT?

[laughter]

YOU BIG-BELLIED BITCHES!

TUCK IN YOUR STOMACHWHEN YOU SPEAK TO ME.

SUCK AND TUCK.

SUCK AND TUCK.

SUCK AND TUCK.

[grunts]SUCK AND TUCK,

THEN SPEAK TO ME.

EVEN THE BIBLE TELLS YOUNOT TO BE A GLUTTON.

STOP MAKING EXCUSES."I'M BIG-BONED."

I NEVER SEENA BIG SKELETON IN MY LIFE.

LIKE, "DAMN, LOOK ATTHE SIZE OF THIS SKELETON."

THAT'S--THAT MUST'VEBEEN A BIG WOMAN.

NO, YOU JUSTLIKE TO EAT A LOT.

[chuckles]

IF I MASTURBATEWITH HAND SANITIZER,

DO I GOTTA WASHMY HANDS WHEN I'M DONE?

[laughter]

I SHOULDN'T, RIGHT?IT KILLS 99.9% OF BACTERIA.

I SHOULD BE EVEN.

LOOK AT THE DUDES THATARE LIKE, "YOU CAN USE THAT?"

YEAH, IT BURNSA LITTLE BIT AT FIRST.

BUT IF YOU GET PASTTHAT BURNING SENSATION,

YOU'RE GOOD.

[laughter]

I KNOW ONE THINGYOU CAN'T DO.

ESPECIALLYAS A WHITE PERSON,

'CAUSE BLACK PEOPLE THINKEVERYTHING'S SUBLIMINAL.

I WAS ATTHE GROCERY STORE YESTERDAY.

BLACK DUDE WAS INTHE SAME AISLE I WAS IN.

I SAID, "HEY,EXCUSE ME, MY MAN,

CAN YOU TELL ME WHERETHE BARBEQUE SAUCE IS AT?"

HE SAID, "WHY?'CAUSE I'M BLACK?"

I SAID, "NO...

'CAUSE YOUGOT SOME IN YOUR CART."

[laughter]

EASY, PIMPIN'.DAMN.

[laughter]

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