- [Voiceover] Not Safe is for mature audiences only.
Viewer discretion is advised, but not mandatory.
So, you get it.
- Well, let's start the show off tonight
by talking about a real-life rapist.
This guy, Ross Turner Overdrive, from Stanford.
That's what I call him.
He's a rapist.
You know how you know it's a fact?
Because I'm allowed to point to this picture
on television and yell,"This guy's a rapist!"
And I'm not
being tackled by a Comedy Central lawyer right now.
That's how you know.
But I don't wanna talk about this piece of shit, okay?
I wanna talk about this piece of shit.
Ugh, Judge Aaron Persky.
The guy who decided this little rapist
should only serve six months in jail.
And with good behavior,
or some magical rich-white-boy pixie dust,
he could get out in three!
He'll be back in action by homecoming.
But hey, Judge Persky is a loose tool.
And boys will be boys, you know?
He's the kind ofguy who believes
♪ Rapists gonna rape, rape, rape, rape, rape
♪ And the haters gonna rape, rape it off ♪
Yeah, thank you.
I'm very talented.
Now the good news, all right?
Because of Persky's bullshit sentencing,
last week he got thrown off a sexual assault case.
Hey, Persky, what's good?
Yeah, we see you.
And we know your name.
In fact, we're gonna make it a new word.
Put it in the dictionary, all right?
A rape apologist.
Let's use it in a sentence, I'm excited.
"The school principal was a total Persky when he said
"girls with big boobs were distracting the boys."
Or, um, "Blurred Lines is the Perskiest song ever."
(audience laughing and applauding)
Turning his name into the definition of rape apologist
is a little extreme, but, come on.
He's asking for it.
Have you seen what he's been wearing?
Think he's naked under there.
I'm Nikki Glaser and this is Not Safe.