Godfrey - Subway Announcements

  • Season 9, Ep 4
  • 02/17/2005
  • Views: 26,361

Indian train conductors sound worse than English conductors. (2:43)

WHY DON'T THEY FIX THE P.A.

SYSTEM, MAN?

COME ON NOW.

HEY, WHAT IS, YA KNOW

WHAT'S SO FUNNY, NEW YORKERS

GOT USED TO HOW BAD THE SYSTEM

IS THAT YOUR STOP, IS A SOUND?

[LAUGHTER]

"HEY, WHERE YOU GETTING OFF AT?"

[STRANGE NOISE]

[LAUGHTER]

"WHERE YOU GETTING OFF AT?

[STRANGER NOISE]

"WHAT ABOUT YOU?"

[DONKEY NOISE]

"OKAY, THAT'S EXPRESS,

THAT'S EXPRESS OKAY."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

BUT THEN YOU GET WEIRDED OUT

WHEN YOU HEAR SOMEBODY THAT

ACTUALLY SPEAKS PROPERLY.

"NEXT UP, 42nd STREET,

WATCH YOUR STEP!"

[LAUGHTER]

MUST BE HIS FIRST DAY,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL...

HE MUST BE TRYING TO GET

EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT...

[LAUGHTER]

OHHHH.

I REMEMBER I HAD AN INDIAN

CONDUCTOR.

WHY, WE CAN'T...

PEOPLE THAT SPEAK ENGLISH

DON'T SOUND RIGHT, WHAT MAKES

YOU THINK AN INDIAN DUDE IS...

[LAUGHTER]

[IN INDIAN ACCENT] "NEXT UP

BANANA.

NA-NA-NA-NA-NA, BANANA...

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

BANA-BANANA, NANANANA..."

IT'S LIKE, ARE WE GOING TO

CALCUTTA?

WHAT THE HELL IS TALK...?

AND THEN AT THE END IT'S

"STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING

DOORS."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

UH, I LIKE THAT INDIAN ACCENT

MAN, THAT'S FUNNY.

IT'S FUNNY.

I EAT INDIAN FOOD, MAN.

YEAH, YOU LIKE INDIAN FOOD?

INDIAN FOOD'S GOOD.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THAT CURRY WILL KICK YOUR ASS

THOUGH.

COME OUT YOUR ASS LIKE THE

MUSIC,

NA, LA, LA, LA LA

NA, HA, LA, LA,

LA, LA, HUMA, HA

BA, LA, LA HA

HAYA, HALLY,

BEERP, BEERP, BEERP

BEERP...

IT'S DIARRHEA SO I GOTTA

KEEP GOING.

MAHALLA, HYNMA, HALLA

HA, HALLA

LA, LA

I'LL DO THIS FOR 90 MINUTES

I DON'T CARE.

HALLA, HAMMA, HALLA

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

THEY TRICK YOU, MAN.

IF YOU GO TO ONE OF THOSE

RESTAURANTS THEY TRICK YOU

THAT'S HOW COME YOUR ASS

IS LEAKING.

'CAUSE WHEN YOU GO TO THOSE

RESTAURANTS THEY NEVER TELL,

YOU EVER ASK, "IS THIS GOING

TO BE HOT?"

[IN INDIAN ACCENT] "DON'T WORRY.

TAKE.

NOT HOT."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THAT'S WHY THEY ALWAYS

GIVING YOU WATER.

"MORE WATER?

YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT,

MY FRIEND."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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