Adam Ferrara - Easter

Season 4 , Ep 5 12/31/00 Views: 5,769

Nobody can explain this holiday. (1:57)

I AM A CATHOLIC.

BASICALLY THE CATHOLIC RELIGION

IS "IF IT FEELS GOOD, STOP."

(LAUGHTER)

MY FAVORITE CATHOLIC HOLIDAY IS

EASTER.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW,

EASTER IS THE DAY WE CELEBRATE

JESUS RISING FROM THE GRAVE AND

COMING BACK TO EARTH AS A RABBIT

THAT HIDES COLORED EGGS.

(LAUGHTER)

NOBODY-- NOBODY CAN--

(APPLAUSE)

NOBODY CAN EXPLAIN THAT HOLIDAY.

YOU KNOW THAT?

"MOMMY, WHY DO WE EAT

JELLYBEANS?"

"IT WAS CHRIST'S LAST MEAL."

(LAUGHTER)

"EASTER IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE

PAWS COMPANY.

HE DIED FOR OUR SINS.

HAVE A MARSHMALLOW PEEP."

(LAUGHTER)

WE USED TO GO TO CHURCH EVERY

SUNDAY...TILL THE GIANTS MADE

THE PLAYOFFS.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S WHEN MY FATHER SAID,

"ALL RIGHT.

NO MORE OF THIS."

MY FATHER'S IN THE CONSTRUCTION

BUSINESS.

"AN ITALIAN IN CONSTRUCTION

LIVING IN NEW YORK?

GO ON."

NO, REALLY.

HE'S A VERY SUCCESSFUL

BUSINESSMAN.

HE OWNS A JUDGE, SO WE'RE PRETTY

HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

HE WORKS WITH MY UNCLE TONY.

WE USED TO CALL HIM

"UNCLE 8 O'CLOCK."

EVERY TIME HE CAME OVER TO

THE HOUSE, "HI, UNCLE TONY."

"ANYBODY ASKS, I'VE BEEN HERE

SINCE 8 O'CLOCK."

(LAUGHTER)

I REMEMBER IN THE SECOND GRADE

WE HAD CAREER DAY.

YOU HAD TO GO HOME, ASK YOUR

FATHER ABOUT HIS JOB, COME BACK

AND TELL THE REST OF THE CLASS.

AND THE TEACHER WAS LIKE, "ADAM,

WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAND UP AND

TELL US WHAT YOUR DADDY DOES?"

"MY FATHER WORKS LIKE A DOG

EVERY (BLEEP) DAMN DAY."

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER)

Loading...