Jeff Dunham - Peanut the Woozle - Where Is the Show?

  • Season 7 , Ep 22
  • 07/17/2003
  • Views: 51,269

Peanut the Woozle doesn't remember where he is, but at least it's not still Alabama. (3:02)

Jeff Dunham: AND NOW LADIES AND

GENTLEMEN, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE

SOMEONE WHO IS A FRIEND OF MINE.

HE'S NOT EXACTLY HUMAN.

HE'S WHAT I CALL A WOOZLE.

PLEASE HELP ME WELCOME MY BUDDY

"PEANUT."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

HOW YA DOIN' PEANUT?

"DOIN' PRETTY GOOD, HOW 'BOUT

YOU?"

I'M FINE.

"THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S GOOD!

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, LOOKS LIKE A PRETTY GOOD

CROWD TONIGHT."

YOU LIKE IT HERE?

"OH, I LOVE COMING TO-- TO--

THIS TOWN RIGHT HERE."

GOOD.

WHICH TOWN?

"YEAH, THIS"-- WHICH ONE?

"THIS ONE."

WHICH IS?

"THE ONE WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW."

[LAUGHTER]

PEANUT, YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH

CITY WE'RE IN?

"I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW."

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT?

"I FORGOT."

WHAT?

"I FORGOT."

WHAT?

"WE GO SO DAMN MANY PLACES

I FORGOT!"

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, THINK ABOUT IT FOR

A SECOND.

"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,

ALL RIGHT.

DAMN.

THE PLANE RIDE FROM L.A...

"WAS LONG AS HELL."

WE GOT HERE...

"COLD AS HELL."

GOT IN A TAXI...

"SCARY AS HELL."

DRIVER...

"COULDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH WORTH

HELL.

CHECKED INTO A HOTEL...

"EXPENSIVE AS HELL.

SO, WE'RE IN HELL."

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

"AND THESE ARE OUR HELLMATES."

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

"I'M JUST KIDDIN'.

I LOVE NEW YORK."

YOU DO?

"BETTER THAN WHERE WE WERE

LAST WEEK."

LAST WEEK?

"LAST WEEK WE WERE IN ALABAMA.

ALABAMA!

TALKIN' WITH A GUY IN THE

FRONT ROW WHO FOR A LIVING

WAS AN ENGLISH TEACHER."

RIGHT.

"COULD THERE BE A MORE DIFFICULT

JOB THAN BEING AN ENGLISH

TEACHER IN ALABAMA?

HOW DO YA TEACH THE CLASSICS

THERE?

'ROMEO, ROMEO, WHEREFORE

ART THOU, ROMEO?'

'I'M DOWN HERE IN THE BUSH'S

TAKIN' A PISS.'

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

"THAT DUDE AIN'T GETTIN' IT.

IT'S KINDA GOIN' [MAKES NOISE].

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

I'M KIDDIN'.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

NOT REAL QUICK IS HE?

KINDA [MAKES NOISE].

"SO WHAT'S YOUR NAME, MAN?"

MICHAEL.

"MICHAEL.

GOOD TO SEE YA, MICHAEL.

MICHAEL!

WATCH THIS.

MICHAEL, YOU GOT A GRANDPA?

YOU DO?"

HE HAS A GRANDPA.

"I USED TO MAKE FUN OF

MY GRANDPA JUST LIKE MICHAEL."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

"WELL, GRANDPA HAD A HEARING

AID."

THAT'S NOT A REASON TO MAKE

FUN OF HIM.

"I DIDN'T MAKE FUN OF HIM,

I MADE FUN WITH HIM."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

"GRANDPA HAD ONE OF THOSE REALLY

OLD HEARING AIDS YOU KINDA HAD

TO ADJUST.

I USED TO RUN UP TO GRANDPA

AND I'D GO, 'HEY, GRANDPA.

LISTEN, I WAS WONDERIN',

YOU THINK I.'

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

PEANUT, WHAT IF YOUR GRANDPA

WAS HERE THIS EVENING?

WOULDN'T YOU FEEL KIND OF BAD.

"WELL, YEAH."

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO YOUR

GRANDPA?

"SORRY, GRANDPA.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU.

IT WAS JUST THAT [MAKES NOISE].

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AM I GOIN' TO HELL?"

PROBABLY.

"WELL, HERE WE ARE."

NO.

"WHERE WERE WE TWO WEEKS AGO?"

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