- Damn, I'm a failure.
- You not a failure, boss.
- Michael Clarke Duncan?
- Yeah, it's me.
I usually help white peoplewith they problems.
They don't think about meno more,
so I'm here to help you,little chocolate boy.
All's I needs you to dois believes in yourself.
I's never actually said thatto a black person before.
- Michael Clarke Duncan,why you talking like a slave?
- 'Cause I is.
In heaven, I keeps the cloudsnice and soft.
Not as many white peopleup here as I thought, through.
- So all I got to dois believe in myself?
- That's hows it worksin the movies.
A black man says something wise,
and then a white writergets the statue.
Almost happened in"Straight Outta Compton."
Now go out there and tells themthe truth.
- I'll do it.
- Good job, son.
And just remember,Omarosa killed me.
She stabbed me in my pancreaswith an icicles.