Leo Allen - Laziest Moment in History

CC Presents: Leo Allen Season 12, Ep 6 01/25/2008 Views: 10,982

Leo tries to think of the laziest moment in history. (2:28)

IT'S SCARY WHEN YOU REALIZESTUFF ABOUT YOURSELF

THAT YOU DIDN'T REALIZE.LIKE, DID YOU EVER--

I WAS-- I HAD THAT HAP--

I WAS IN MY APARTMENTAND I WAS WATCHING

MY FAVORITE TELEVISION PROGRAM,

VH1'S TOP 100 MOSTWORTHLESS HOURS OF PROGRAMMING.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

AND I WANTED TO CHANGETHE CHANNEL BECAUSE I WAS ALIVE

AND I REALIZEDTHAT LIFE IS FINITE.

BUT I'M SITTING ON THE COUCHAND THE REMOTE CONTROL IS LIKE

TWO FEET AWAY,AND INSTEAD OF JUST GOINGLIKE-- BAM-- LIKE THAT.

DID YOU EVER DO THAT--I DID THAT STUPID THINGWHERE I WAS LIKE, OH,

I'LL JUST DO IT WITH MY FOOT.YEAH, YEAH I'LL CHANGE CHANNEL.

THIS'LL SAVE A LOT OF TIME.THIS'LL EXPEDITE THIS PROCESS.

BUT, WHAT WAS SCARY WAS,I DID IT FOR SO LONG

THAT THE SHOW I HATED ENDED.AND ANOTHER ONE CAME ON,

WHICH SHOOK ME OUT OFMY REVELRY. I WAS LIKE,OH, MY GOD.

I AM THE LAZIEST PERSONON EARTH.

THIS DOES NOT BODE WELLFOR LEO ALLEN.

SO THEN, TO TRY TOMAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER,I TRIED TO THINK OF,

WHAT'S THE LAZIEST THINGTHAT ANYBODY'S EVER DONE, EVER?

AND I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT.I THINK IT WAS PROBABLY

A YOUNG WOMAN,PROBABLY A TEEN-AGERLYING IN BED,

VERY EARLY IN THE MORNING,HER ALARM CLOCK GOES OFF.

LIKE [Alarm Sounding].SHE GOES, "OH, MY GOD.

"WHY DID I SETMY ALARM FOR 6:30?

"OH, YEAH. I HAD AN APPOINTMENTTO GET AN ABORTION.

"YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINKI'LL JUST KEEP THE BABY.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

I DIDN'T WANNAGO TO COLLEGE ANYWAY.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

A LOT OF PEOPLEAREN'T FANS OF THAT JOKE.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, IN THAT JOKE,THE BABY LIVES.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

I WILL NOT KILL A BABYFOR COMEDY.