If I lost something,I lost it.
My mom would never help usfind shit, right?
Normal parents--normal parentshelp their fucking kids, right?
Normal parents help.It's like, "Okay, what?
"Did you lose something?Your keys?
"What?Was it in your pants?
"Well, what jeans?Were you wearing jeans?
Well, let's lookfor those jeans."
That's how you fucking helpyour kids find shit.
Not my mom.If I lost something,
I can guarantee my mom'sright behind me fucking with me.
Right?She enjoys that shit.
If I'm lookingunder the couch,
I guarantee my mom'sright behind me like,
"Oh, what?What? What?
"What? What's under--What's under the couch, Josep?
"Is it your keys?
"Did you loseyour keys again?
Oh, maybe they walkunder the couch like that?"
Now I got to askmy mom for help.
That's the worst mistakeI can make.
"Mom, I'm late for work.Do you know where my keys are?"
"Josep, did you just ask mewhere your keys are?
"Isn't thata stupid question?
"That isa stupid question, Josep.
"'Excuse me, personthat does not drive my car,
do you knowwhere my keys are?'"
"That is stupid, Josep!
"Why don't you ask mewhere my keys are?
"I'll knowthe answer to that.
"Go ahead, Josep.Ask me!
Come on!Ask me right now!"
"Mom, do you knowwhere your keys are?"
[laughing]"Of course I do!
"Of course I do, Josep!
"I know where my keys areall the time.
"You know why, Josep?
"Because I put themin the same place
"that I alwaysput my keys.
"I hang them over here, oh,on this wooden plaque...
"that says 'keys.'
"Josep,when you lose something,
"do you use your eyesto look for it,
"or do you use your mouth?
"Because every timeyou lose something, Josep,
"you use your mouthto find something.
"You can't find anythinglike that, Josep.
"You just walk around,'Has anybody seen my keys?
"'I don't knowwhere my keys are.
"I'm late for work.'Open your eyes!
Look for them!"
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