not very fun times at all,
and, uh, actually,any newspaper in the country,
when you wake upand read it every morning,
it's just exhausting.
Especially the New York Times.
Anyone who's watching--any of you here--
if you read just the headlinesof the New York Times--
you don't even have to readthe article--
for a year, um...
uh, y-you'll actually geta-a hemorrhoid.
And I believe thatevery paper in the country
should have one headline
that, when you read it,it just... it changes your...
you laugh so hardyou can't stand it.
It has to be that way.
A headline-- what abouta headline like this?
"Hippo Eats Dwarf."
How good is that?
You read that headlineand you immediately
close the paper, and say, "Wow,it's gonna be a great day."
You don't even read the article,'cause you want
to think about it--Wow, I wonder how it happened?
Oh, look, he's hiding behind
a banyan tree.
Here comes the hippo.
Run, little man, run!
Oh, all that's leftare his tiny shoes.
I told you,I'm a strange choice as a host.
Let me smile.
All right, headed your way,