Johnny Sanchez - All-American

  • Season 3 , Ep 13
  • 08/31/2000
  • Views: 4,531

Johnny Sanchez feels more all-American than he looks. (1:59)

BECAUSE I FEEL--

BEING A THIRD GENERATION,I FEEL ALL AMERICAN, YOU KNOW?

I FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW,BASEBALL AND APPLE PIE,

BUT I REALIZE I LOOK LIKENACHOS AND COCKFIGHTING.

[laughter]

IT'S HARD.

OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU DON'T--I DON'T NEED THE SYMPATHY.

THANKS.YOU'RE LIKE, "OH.

TOO BAD, LITTLE LATINO GUY.OH."

I'M GLAD AND FORTUNATE THAT IHAVE THE APPEARANCE THAT I HAVE

BECAUSE SOMETIMES PEOPLEDON'T KNOW WHAT I AM, YOU KNOW?

SO I CAN KIND OF USE THATTO MY ADVANTAGE WHEN I'M--

FOR, LIKE, DEALINGWITH ALL THIS PRESSURE,

THE WHOLE LATINO THING.

SOMETIMES THEY SEE MY LAST NAME,SO THEY WANT TO ENGAGE ME.

"SANCHEZ, HUH?YOU LATINO, HUH?

"SANCHEZ, HUH?

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU,ALL RIGHT?"

I JUST FOOL THEMWITH MY LOOKS.

[in Indian accent]"NO, I'M ADOPTED,MY FRIEND.

"NO. NO. COME.KEEP ON. NO TALK.

"NO TALK TALK.NO TALK TALK.

GET GOING. NO TALKING."

[applause]

[woman cheers loudly]

ALL RIGHT!

IS THAT FOR THE STYLEI HAD GOING ON HERE?

EAST INDIANS, THEY'RE COOL,THOUGH, REALLY NICE PEOPLE.

THEY REALLY ARE.

I HAVE AN EAST INDIAN FRIENDI GREW UP WITH.

HE'S A REALLY NICE GUY.

I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW--YOU KNOW,WHEN HE WAS MAKING LOVE, THOUGH,

HOW IT WENT, YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE EVERYBODY'SGOT THEIR THING.

YOU KNOW,LATINS ARE REALLY PASSIONATE.

EVEN I START--YOU KNOW,"HAY. HAY."

YOU KNOW, THE BROTHERS ARE LIKE,"MMM-HMM, MMM-HMM. MMM-HMM."

YOU KNOW, WHITE GUYS ARE LIKE,"MY STOCK WENT UP FIVE SHARES."

[laughs]

[applause]

I ALWAYS WONDER ABOUTMY EAST INDIAN FRIEND,

YOU KNOW, WHEN HE'S MAKING LOVE,I FIGURE--

YOU KNOW, "THAT'S RIGHT.THAT'S RIGHT.

"RIGHT THERE, BABY.MMM-HMM. THAT'S RIGHT.

OKAY, WHO'S THE SNAKE CHARMER?WHO'S THE SNAKE CHARMER?"

[applause]

THAT WAS BAD.

YOU GUYS DESERVEBETTER THEN THAT.

I APOLOGIZE.

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