DL Hughley - Gayest Instrument

Season 1 , Ep 101 05/15/05 Views: 3,637

Observing his son has made DL Hughley realize that little boys make terrible decisions. (2:13)

Watch Full Episode

YOU PRETTY SURE SOMETHING

WRONG WITH BUT YOU DON'T GET HIM

TESTED 'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT

THAT LITTLE SQUARE BUS PULLING

UP IN FRONT OF YOUR DAMN HOUSE.

SEE, WOMEN NEVER WANT TO ADMIT

NOTHING'S WRONG WITH THEIR SON.

"OH, HE'S FINE."

FATHER GOING, "THIS SON OF A

BITCH IS CRAZY."

"I'M SLEEPING WITH THE DOOR

LOCKED."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND THERE IS A DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN LITTLE GIRLS AND LITTLE

BOYS.

LITTLE GIRLS PROBLEM IS THAT

THEY PROBABLY THINK THEY TOO

DAMN SMART.

THEY THINK THEY'RE SO SMART THEY

TRY TO LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING.

THAT'S ANNOYING.

LITTLE BOYS ARE DUMB.

DON'T ACT LIKE--

IF YOU HAVE A LITTLE BOY--

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN YOUR SON DO

SOMETHING AND YOU GO, "WHAT

THE [BLEEP] ARE YOU THINKING?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU STICK A

FORK IN AN ELECTRICAL OUTLET?"

"I-- I--

I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW.

I-- I JUST--

I WANTED TO SEE WHERE THE

ELECTRICITY CAME FROM.

AND NOW I--

I CAN'T SEE OUT OF MY LEFT EYE.

I KNOW--

I KNOW THAT YOU'RE ANGRY BUT

I--

I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'VE GOT A SON HE DON'T KNOW

[BLEEP].

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED."

[LAUGHTER]

"WHAT ARE YOU STUPID OR

SOMETHING."

"MAYBE I AM, I DON'T KNOW."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND NOW HE PLAYING THE FLUTE

AT SCHOOL.

THE FLUTE IS THE GAYEST

INSTRUMENT IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

THE FLUTE IS THE SOUNDTRACK

FOR AN ASS WHOOPIN'.

THAT'S WHAT THE FLUTE IS.

AIN'T NO FATHER PROUD OF SON

PLAYING THE DAMN FLUTE.

THAT'S EMBARRASSING.

AND WOMEN ALWAYS, "OH, AT LEAST

HE'S PLAYING SOME INSTRUMENT."

NOT ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE A

[BLEEP].

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NOT ONE OF THEM, I'M NOT HAPPY.

Loading...