Tom Shillue - Like Dad

  • Season 9 , Ep 13
  • 05/05/2005
  • Views: 3,267

Dads can tuck their pants in anywhere. (3:00)

Tom Shillue: THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

HOW YOU DOING, GOOD?

[CHEERING]

I LOOK GOOD, RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

I FEEL LIKE I LOOK GOOD.

[CAT CALLS]

[LAUGHTER]

I'M GETTING BIGGER.

I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT.

I'M TRYING TO GAIN WEIGHT,

YOU KNOW.

SO I'VE BEEN PUTTING ON SOME

POUNDS.

AND I'M EATING LIKE FIVE MEALS

A DAY.

AND EVERY NIGHT BEFORE I GO TO

BED I HAVE A CAN OF THAT CANNED

BEEF STEW.

[LAUGHTER]

SEE I LIKE THIS STUFF.

BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S BAD

FOR YOU.

'CAUSE I WAS HAVING SOME THE

OTHER NIGHT AND I SWEAR TO DOG

I HEARD MY DOG SAY, "I CAN'T

BELIEVE YOU EAT THAT CRAP."

[LAUGHTER]

I'M GETTING OLDER.

I CATCH MYSELF DOING THOSE DAD

THINGS.

YOU KNOW GUYS WHEN YOU CATCH

YOURSELF DOING THOSE THINGS

YOUR DAD USED TO DO.

YOU KNOW THOSE THINGS THAT

USED TO EMBARRASS YOU AND THEN

YOU CATCH YOURSELF DOING THE

SAME THING.

I CAUGHT MYSELF DOING THE FOLD

TUCK IN PUBLIC THE OTHER DAY.

[LAUGHTER]

FOLD TUCK.

MY DAD COULD TUCK HIS PANTS IN

ANYWHERE.

BE THE WORST PLACE.

HE'D BE LIKE, "YEAH I'LL HAVE

A BIG MAC AND AH...

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND A LARGE FRY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHAT DO YOU WANT THERE, TOMMY?"

[LAUGHTER]

I'M LIKE "NOT HUNGRY, DAD.

THANKS.

CANCEL THOSE NUGGETS.

THANKS A LOT."

[LAUGHTER]

I AM LOOKING GOOD.

THIS IS A GOOD AUDIENCE.

THESE GIRLS ARE GETTING

YOUNGER, AREN'T THEY?

EVERYWHERE YOU GO THESE GIRLS

ARE GETTING YOUNGER.

EVERY CHANNEL I TURN ON SOME

GIRL IN LITTLE T-SHIRT DANCING

AROUND.

♪ KA, KA, KA, KA

♪ KA, KA, KA, KA

[LAUGHTER]

THAT WAS A GIRL DANCING IF YOU

DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING

THERE.

[LAUGHTER]

THEY'RE HOT THOUGH THOSE GIRLS.

I WAS AT A NEWSSTAND THE OTHER

DAY WITH MY FRIEND.

THERE WAS A HOT GIRL ON THE

FRONT OF EVERY MAGAZINE.

HOT LITTLE TEENAGE GIRL IN A

LITTLE T-SHIRT.

♪ KA, KA, KA, KA

♪ KA, KA, KA, KA

[LAUGHTER]

I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD.

LOOK AT THAT GIRL."

AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE,

"OH YEAH, MAN.

I WISH I WAS 19 AGAIN."

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID WITH KINDA

THAT EVIL VOICE.

"I WISH I WAS 19 AGAIN."

[LAUGHTER]

THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, WHAT WOULD

YOU DO?

CALL HER?

YOU'D JUST BE A 19-YEAR-OLD

LOSER, THAT'S ALL."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NO DIFFERENCE, RIGHT?

Loading...