Nick Swardson - Pot Brownies

Season 1 , Ep 101 10/11/09 Views: 90,527

Nick Swardson shares an important tip about pot brownies: They don't work right away. (2:03)

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IS ANYBODY HERE STONED?IS ANYBODY HIGH?

[whooping]

HA. ARE YOU?

YOU LOOK [BLEEP] CRAZY HIGH!

HOLY [BLEEP].CAN YOU SEE ME?

THIS DUDE'S LIKE...

[mouthing words]

I LIKE POT BROWNIES.POT BROWNIES ARE FUN.

[whooping]

EVERYBODY LOVES POT BROWNIES.

BUT I BRING CRYSTAL METHCUPCAKES TO A PARTY...

SUDDENLY I'M THE WEIRDO.

IT'S A DOUBLE STANDARD.

I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIPSIN MY ACT,

BUT HERE'S ONE OF 'EM.

SOMEBODY HANDS YOUA POT BROWNIE...

KNOW HOW STRONG IT ISBEFORE YOU EAT IT.

JUST A LITTLE TIP.OKAY?

PEOPLE CLAPPING KNOW.

SOMEBODY HANDS YOU ONE,JUST EAT HALF OF IT.

THEN WAIT LIKE A HALF HOUR.

OKAY, JUST SEEHOW STRONG IT IS.

'CAUSE THEY'RE NOT INSTANT.A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE.

THEY'LL BE LIKE...

"YEAH, NOTHING HAP--NOTHING'S HAPPENING.

"NOT WORKING.

"IT'S NOT WORKING.

I'M LITERALLY STILL FINE."

THEN A HALF HOUR LATER,THEY'RE LIKE...

[shuddering exhale]

THERE'S NOTHING WORSETHAN BEING VIOLENTLY TOO HIGH

WHERE IT'S HORRIFYING.

LIKE YOU KNOW THAT FEELINGWHEN YOU GET WAY TOO HIGH

AND YOU HAVE LIKETHAT INNER MONOLOGUE

WHERE YOU'RE LIKE,"JUST BREATHE, MAN.

[blowing]

"JUST BREATHE.

"YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.

"EVERYTHING'SGONNA BE OKAY, MAN.

"NOBODY KNOWS YOU'RE TOO HIGH.[blowing]

"JUST BREATHE.

"ALL RIGHT,SMILE AT EVERYBODY.

"OKAY, THAT WAS THE WORSTTHING YOU COULD HAVE EVER DONE.

THEY JUST CALLED THE POLICE."

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