Big Jay Oakerson - Having a Daughter

Big Jay Oakerson: Live At Webster Hall Season 1, Ep 1 06/17/2016 Views: 1,774

Even though Big Jay Oakerson loves his daughter, he knows things would be easier for both of them if she were a boy. (1:42)

Watch Full Episode

I have a daughter.

It's cool, I guess,to some degree.

She plays sports, but...

she plays soccer.

- Whoo!

- Really, whoo?

13-year-old girls' soccer, dude?

Do you know how boring13-year-old girls' soccer is?

The same exact boring asadult men's professional soccer.


Three hoursfor 0-0 scores.

But you got to support.

I show up for the lastfive minutes of the game,

and I run up, and I'm like,

"All right, I'm here.Don't be a whore.

"You don't haveto blow everybody.

"I'm here, I love you.

You shouldn't feel abandoned."

You know.

"Give you some money, I'll helpyou with your homework.

"Just, please,don't blow everybody.

But, God, I can't watchthis whole game."

Life and the world would bean easier place

if she was a boy, man.

Girls make fathers' livesvery difficult

with thingsthey don't even know.

They don't even realizethey're making it difficult.


Can't do laundry anymorewith my daughter's stuff.

It's just uncomfortable.

Looking how I look and foldinglittle-girl underwear

does not appearas if I'm doing a good deed.

It looks like I'm, like,

organizing the trophiesfrom all my victims.

"Ah, I remember her.

Pigtails, Central Park."

Sometimes it's the first timeI hear it too.