AND THEY HAD A SIGN AND IT SAID,

"DO NOT ALLOW YOUR DOG TO CHASE, INJURE, OR WORRY WILDLIFE."

I UNDERSTAND THE CHASING AND INJURING PART,

BUT HOW IS A DOG GONNA WORRY WILDLIFE?

DOG'S GONNA RUN UP TO A BIRD,

"HEY, I THINK YOU GOTSOMETHING IN YOUR BEAK.

"IT COULD BE A TUMOR.

- "ARE YOU CONCERNED? - [LAUGHTER]

"I WAS JUST TALKING TO THE OTHER PIGEONS;

"THEY FIND YOU OBNOXIOUS. AND THEY'RE PIGEONS.

SO YOU IMAGINE WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'?"

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF A DOG COULD GESTURE LIKE THAT?

FORGET THE TALKING DOG,BUT IF A DOG COULD DO

- ONE OF THESE SITUATIONS? - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"I WAS JUST ATTHE PARK RANGER'S LODGE.

"THEY SAID THE FOOD SUPPLIESARE GONNA BE SCARCE THIS WINTER.

DOES THAT MAKE YOU NERVOUS?"

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO FORGOT THE PREMISE OF THIS JOKE,

'CAUSE IT'S BEEN FOUR HOURS LONG IT'S CHASE, INJURE AND WORRY

- WILDLIFE IS THE-- - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IN CASE IT WAS-- EXACTLY. YOU'RE DOUBLED UP--

PEOPLE ARE DOUBLED OVERIN PAIN OR LAUGHTER.

I DON'T CARE EITHER ONE.I'LL TAKE IT EITHER WAY.

I'M TEACHING A COMEDY WORKSHOP EVERY SATURDAY MORNING;