Anthony Jeselnik - Shut the F**k Up

Anthony Jeselnik: Caligula Season 1, Ep 101 01/13/2013 Views: 17,383

If a fan complains to Anthony Jeselnik, they'll end up as a joke in his next show. (1:56)

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to tell you guys

that I love to meet fansafter the show.

I like when people come up andsay, "Anthony, you're a genius.

Anthony, best showI've ever seen."

And that's it.

I don't ever want to hearanything else.

If you've gota bone to pick with me

over somethingI've said tonight,

instead, you should justshut the [bleep] up.

[ Laughter ]

Because, seriously, I know moreabout comedy than you do,

and you came to see me.

[ Man shouts indistinctly ]

Like I said,shut the [bleep] up.

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

But, still, even afterI've just said all that,

you still feel likeyou need to come up and bitch,

well, then, I will be as politeas I can possibly be.

However, it is ill-advised.

Because you will end upas a joke in my act...

[ Laughter ]

...much like the blind guy

who came up and complained to mein Seattle after a show.

He walked up and said,"Anthony, Anthony.

[ Laughter ]

Why didn't you tellany blind jokes tonight?

I came hereto hear blind jokes tonight."

And I said,"Well, here's a blind joke."

[ Laughter ]