The Mating Ritual of the Human

Jeff & Some Colonists Season 1, Ep 5 02/08/2017 Views: 581

Human mating is a bizarre, complex dance that involves a shocking amount of masturbation. (1:00)

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A mating ritual of the human.

is a mind-boggling dance.

First, the male chooses a mate who is much more

intelligent and attractive than he is.

Then he begins to obsess over her,

consulting her Facebook page up to 50 times a day,

often pleasuring himself to her likeness

to the point of exhaustion.

Months can pass with no word from the mate.

[cell phone vibrates] Then, suddenly...

- Linda? narrator: She will

make contact.- No, no, it's not a problem.

I'm right nearby.I'll be right there.

narrator: Usually when she needs help

moving large objects.

Or when somebody else has canceled

their plans with her last-minute.

Somewhere in this complex dance,

procreation occurs.

- Well, I got a lot of notes.

For starters, I think we needten more frames

of Jeff jerking offto help with the pacing.