Jack Whitehall - Scared of Everything

  • Season 15 , Ep 8
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 4,669

Jack prefers a jolly fat kid with a backpack full of cake to a mental guy with a backpack full of Semtex. (1:57)

- I get scaredby everything.

I get scaredby watching the news.

The only way I can watchthe news, I've decided,

is to try and look forthe funny elements of it,

and there aresome funny stories.

Some of theAmerican stories,

I've seen somebrilliant ones, right.

My favorite wasat the time of

the Californianforest fires.

I was watchin'the news, right,

and this guy genuinely saidthat apparently in the blaze

300 mobile homeshave been destroyed.

[gasps]

Now, I don't know whetherthere are that many advantages

to a mobile home,if any.

But one of the main ones,the big selling point

of the mobile home,is that you're not really

tied down to an area,especially if the said area

is on [deleted] fire!

Move!

[audience laughing, applauding]

Even...

Even-even on the newspeople say stupid things.

Yeah.

I saw a guy being interviewedon the BBC News back home,

right, an expert--he was a so-called expert.

He genuinely said, right,that apparently obesity

is now a bigger threatto the western world

than Al Qaeda.

It's definitely not.

What would you ratherhave sit opposite you

on the subwayon your way home tonight,

some mental guy with a beardand a hundred yard stare

with a backpackfull of Semtex

or just a jollylittle fat kid

with a backpackfull of cake?

I want fatty.

[audience laughing]

I do.

'Cause I do.

I get scared ofyoung people.

I get scared ofyouths, yeah.

The worst, right,are the young people

that are likethe gangs, right,

that sit on public transportlike pack of wolves.

They have their hoodiesand their caps

and they play theirmusic really loud

on their mobile phones,

that's what theylike doing, yeah.

I found outthe hard way,

they don't like itwhen you make requests.

I didn't knowwhat I was doing.

I turned 'round.

The leader of the packis just staring at me.

He's like, "Hey, broth,what do you want?"

"Um, Justin Bieberwould be nice."

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