John Heffron - Video Games

  • Season 8 , Ep 1
  • 01/29/2004
  • Views: 16,363

Women are not like video games. (1:06)

LASTLY ON MY LITTLE THINGS HERE.

LADIES, DON'T EVER ASK YOUR GUY

THIS QUESTION.

"HEY, IS YOU PLAYING A X-BOX

OR PLAYSTATION?

IS THAT GOING TO TAKE AWAY

FROM US TIME?"

"YES.

YES, IT WILL."

I GOTTA TELL YOU, I'M IN MY 30s,

AND I LOVE PLAYING VIDEOGAMES.

LOVE IT, LADY.

LOVE IT!

I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

EVERY GIRL I EVER DATE ALWAYS

SAYS THE SAME THING TO ME.

"YOU'RE TOO OLD TO PLAY

VIDEOGAMES.

THAT'S DUMB FOR SOMEBODY

YOUR AGE TO BE INTO VIDEOGAMES."

YOU KNOW WHAT LADIES?

YOU DO DUMB THINGS.

LIKE-- READ!

[LAUGHTER]

I COULD GO ON, BUT I WON'T.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

THE REASON WHY I LIKE PLAYING

VIDEOGAMES SO MUCH IS I CAN

EVENTUALLY FIGURE OUT A

VIDEOGAME.

I CAN EVENTUALLY FIGURE OUT WHAT

TO DO RIGHT AND WHAT TO DO WRONG

IN A VIDEOGAME.

IN A RELATIONSHIP, I CAN'T.

AND UNTIL I CAN GO ONLINE

TO FIND A CHEAT CODE TO DEAL

WITH WOMEN--

'TIL I CAN FIND A WAY WHEN YOU

COME OUT AND START BITCHING AT

ME, I CAN GO, "TRIANGLE, SQUARE,

CIRCLE! R-1, R-2, R-2!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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