Movie Snob Crash

  • Season 5 , Ep 9
  • 05/22/2008
  • Views: 50,186

A man trapped between two cars maintains his film snob outrage until the bitter end. (2:29)

SIR, HOLD ON.OH, MAN.

I FEEL LIKE I'M MOVINGMY LEGS RAPIDLY.

DO YOU SEE THEMMOVING?LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

YOU KNOW THAT...

HE'S SEPARATEDCOMPLETELYFROM HIS LEGS.

IF WE MOVE THIS CAR,HE'S DEAD.

THIS IS SO IRONIC,THIS RIGHT HERE.

I WAS JUST WITHSOME FRIENDS.

WE WEREWATCHING DVDs,

AND I GOT INTORATHER A HEATED ARGUMENT

ABOUT M. NIGHT SHYAMALANAND THE MOVIE "SIGNS,"

YOU KNOW, WHENTHE WIFE IS DYING,

SHE'S BEEN HITBY THE CAR,

AND I REALLY THOUGHTTHAT WAS THE MOMENT

WHEN HE STARTEDTO KIND OF GO DOWNHILL

AND LED, INEVITABLY,

TO THE SORT OFPOSTMODERN DISSONANCE

OF "LADYIN THE WATER."

WE WERE JUST HAVINGTHAT SAME CONVERSATIONON THE WAY HERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT ONEWAS HIS GOOD ONE?

I LIKED"THE VILLAGE."

LOOK, GUYS.

THERE WERE MONSTERSIN THAT.

I WAS LIKE,"ARE THERE REALLY MONSTERS?"

BUT THEN THERE WEREN'TREALLY MONSTERS.

BUT WHAT IFTHAT HAPPENED?THAT COULD HAPPEN.

NO. IT COULDN'THAPPEN.

YOU WANTA TWIST ENDING,

YOU WANT NICOLAS ROEG'S"DON'T LOOK NOW."

IS THAT THE ONEWITH THE TALKING BABIES?

AND BRUCE WILLIS.

THAT GUY FROM "PERFECT"HAS A BABY, AND THE BABY TALKS.

"PERFECT"?

HOW ABOUT THE GUY FROM"SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER"

OR "PULP FICTION"?

"PERFECT"?WHO ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT?

JOHN TRAVOLTA.FROM "PERFECT."

IT WAS GREAT BECAUSE, LIKE,THEY WERE TRYING TO DANCE,

BUT THEY KNEWTHEY COULD NEVER BE PERFECT.

YOU GUYSARE POLICE.

YOU OBVIOUSLYMUST HAVE SEENANTONIONI'S "L'AVVENTURA,"

THE MISSING GIRL,

THE DISCONNECTED-FROM-REALITY CIRCLEOF RICH FRIENDS.

SHE GOES MISSING.THEY NEVER FIND HER.

WHAT WAS THE ONEWITH THE LITTLETWO MICE

WHO GO FIND THATLITTLE GIRL DOWNIN THE BAYOU?

THAT'S"THE RESCUERS."

YEAH!YEAH!

IT WAS HORRIBLE.

THAT WAS THE VALLEYOF THE DISNEYANIMATION REGIME.

THAT WAS DURING THE TIMEOF "PETE'S DRAGON"

AND "BEDKNOBSAND BROOMSTICKS."

I HATED THEM BOYSWHO WERE TRYINGTO GET PETE'S DRAGON.

THEY WERE GONNA MAKE HIMINTO A SUIT.

AWFUL! OH, PLEASEGET THE EMTs HERE.

OH, YOU GUYS ARE JUSTBEREFT OF ANY KINDOF CULTURE

AND ANY KIND OF KNOWLEDGEOF THE WORLD OF CINEMA.

HEY, JOE--

WHAT'S THATOVER THERE?

HEY, JOE, WHAT'STHAT OVER THERE?

NO. YOU KNOWTHAT TECHNICALLY--[SLAM]

HIS LEGS ARE ABOUT4 FEET THAT WAY.

WE ACTUALLY HIT HIM.

WE BUMPED OVER HIMON THE WAY IN.

THAT GUY WAS VERY IN TOUCHWITH HIS INNER ASS[BLEEP],

CONSIDERING HIS ASS[BLEEP]WAS ABOUT 10 FEET THAT WAY.

Loading...