Pete Lee - Passive-Aggressive Mascot

  • Season 13 , Ep 11
  • 01/11/2009
  • Views: 13,776

Pete is passive-aggressive, which means that he prefers revenge to communication. (1:51)

MY PERSONALITYIS I'M PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE.

AND IF YOU GUYS DON'T KNOWWHAT THAT MEANS,

IT JUST MEANS THAT I'M LIKEA LITTLE MASCOT, YOU KNOW?

OUT HERE, I'M ALL LIKE,"COME LOOK AT ME!

I'M ALL FUN AND FRIENDLYAND I'M REALLY SUPER NICE!"

BUT IN HERE, I HAVE A SECRET --I HATE PEOPLE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW?

WHAT IT REALLY MEANS,PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE,

IS THAT I JUST PREFER REVENGETO COMMUNICATION, ALL RIGHT?

IF YOU GUYS DON'T THINKTHAT REVENGE IS AWESOME,

YOU HAVE NEVER SNUCKINTO YOUR BOSS'S OFFICE

AND TAPED FIRECRACKERSTO ALL HIS LIGHT BULBS BEFORE.

YEAH, NO ANNUAL RAISE?

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

DANCE, DRAGON, DANCE!

POP-POP, POP-POP!

OR HAVE YOU GUYS EVER BEENDOING LAUNDRY IN A LAUNDROMAT,

SOMEBODY TAKES YOUR SOPPING-WETCLOTHES OUT OF THE DRYER,

THEY PUT THEIRS INON YOUR QUARTER?

"OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T!"RIGHT?

WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO,

HAVE A LITTLE "HEART-TO-HEART"WITH THEM?

LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT, DUDE,WHEN YOU DID THAT,

THAT REALLY HURT MY FEELINGS."

NO, YOU DON'T DO THAT.

YOU WAITTILL THEY'RE NOT LOOKING,

YOU OPEN UP THEIR DRYER DOOR,AND YOU POUR IN MILK.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YEAH.

[ APPLAUSE ]

AND COTTON CANDY.

AND [BLOWS] CONFETTI.

YEAH, HAVE FUNFOLDING YOUR PI√ĎATA.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ HUMMING "MEXICAN HAT DANCE" ]

HAI! OKAYDOKAY!

THE COOLEST THING ABOUT REVENGE,YOU KNOW,

IS THAT REVENGE DOES NOT HAVEAN EXPIRATION DATE.

IT'S NOT LIKE MILK, YOU KNOW.

NO, SIRREE, BOB.

NO, MAN.REVENGE IS AWESOME, MAN.

LIKE, MY BROTHER,

HE USED TO BEAT THE LIVING SNOTOUT OF ME GROWING UP,

SO LAST OCTOBER, I TAUGHTHIS YOUNGEST DAUGHTER

THAT THE F-WORD MEANS "CANDY."

HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

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