Uncensored - Dave Attell - The Last Smoke

Dave Attell: Captain Miserable Season 1, Ep 0101 07/06/2009 Views: 23,235

When Dave Attell smoked pot for the last time, he couldn't think, his heart was pounding, and his left arm went numb. (2:07)

I used to smoke pot. I don't.

Don't. Uh-uh.

I'd like to talk aboutthe last time I did smoke pot.

I was smoking some herb,some chronic.

Trees, whatever it is.I don't know.

I was smoking something,

and all of a suddenI couldn't think.

My heart was pounding,my left arm was numb.

And I'm thinking I'm eitherdying or bowling. Now...

I think potshould be legal though.

You guys?

Don't worry, I haveenough energy for all of us.

Pot should be legal.It should be.

It's on the topof Mount Should Be.

Right under"I should have a bigger dick,"

pot should be legal.

But it won't.

'Cause you fucking potheadsaren't making it happen.

You're not out there every nightlike us fucking alcoholics are

affecting society.

Things have been inventedbecause of alcohol.

Like the Taser, okay?


The morning-after pill, okay?

The reacharound.

Judge Judy.

What has pot given the world?Hacky Sack? Yeah.

Hilarious ringtones? Oh, God.

Ultimate Frisbee championships?

It sucks to be a champion at asport that can't get you laid.

It's an unneeded skill, kind oflike being, I don't know,

the best banjo player

or a squirter. Now...

Did you guys just wake up?I knew that would wake you up.

I will give you potheadsone thing.

You know your wayaround a microwave oven.


Yell any food out,you guys will know the time.

It's like, "Baked potato.""Three minutes."

Au gratin, pull it out,laugh at it,

put it infor another 30 seconds.

Don't even need cheese.