Donald Glover - Dong Lover

  • Season 4 , Ep 0406
  • 11/20/2009
  • Views: 121,980

All these years, bullies have been making fun of Donald Glover for the wrong reasons. (2:08)

and this is the first timeI'm back.

It's pretty great. I love it.

Um, but before I was leaving,there was like...

I could tellthe city was telling me to leave

'cause like,I was on the G train, right?

And I was sitting thereand there was this dude

sitting next to me and he wasjust bleeding profusely.

Like, really bleeding,

like I could see my reflectionin the blood.

That's how bad it was.And there were, like, kids there

and people,and there was this dude

with a whole bunchof plastic bags and cans

and he, like, leaned down.He was like,

"Yeah, that's a gunshotor a stab wound.

And like, leaned back in.

And I was like, "First of all,you got a lot

"of plastic bags and cans.

You ain't a surgeon.How you know that?"

And then... And then,the weirdest thing happened.

The car stopped and he saweverybody looking at him.

The doors opened. He got offand got on the next car.

Now, so he didn't wantthe police or whoever shot him

to know he was there, right?

So, I thought what everybodythought immediately, too.

So I was like, "Oh, my God.

I have gotto Twitter this, right?"

I think that immediately,but I don't because I was like--

No, I was thinking maybethe dude that shot him

would see my Twitter and thenkill the witnesses, right?

Now, here's why that's thedumbest idea I've ever had.

Like, the dude that shot himwas going to be like...

(imitates gunshots)

"Yeah! Yeah, boy,don't (bleep) with my money.

"Don't mess with me. Don't-- oh,(bleep), here come the cops."

And then, like rundown the street, be like,

"Oh, no, I'm covered in blood.

"Hey, baby, you got the bleach?You got the bleach?

"Oh, man, I got to getall this blood off, man.

"Man, man, man.All right.

"Now to checkmy Twitter account.

'Dong Lover'? Oh, hell no."

My name is Don Gloverand on Twitter,

it looks like "Dong Lover."

Ain't that some (bleep)?

I am a 25-year-old manand I am just finding out

my name is "Dong Lover."

I had bullies on Facebookcontacting me,

like, "Here we weremaking fun of you

'cause you were poor and black,

and this Dong Lover thing wasunder our nose the whole time."

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